For over twenty-one years Brad Leslie has been taking men and young guys, ages 12-17, off to a gorgeous slice of the Canadian wilderness near Vancouver for a rite of passage weekend. This year 50 men greeted 58 teenage males for another powerful and transformational experience. It's called the Young Men's Adventure Weekend.
In this podcast, I talk with Brad about this year's weekend, how it was organized, and what it's like for the young guys and the men involved. You'll learn about topics such as the "mentoring bone," Voyageurs and Manhood, going into the "basement" of a man's life, and how men welcome the young males into men's world.
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This interview with Brad, along with the video clip below, begin to paint a beautiful picture of what very good men can create when they decide to show up for future men in their communities.
To see more pictures of the goings on during the weekend, go to this photo album.To get additional information about the Young Men's Adventure Weekend visit the YMAW website at, ymaw.com. You can also call Brad Leslie at: 800-663-2723, or send him an email at bradleslie@telus.net
Here is a video clip of the young males arriving at men's world!
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Tim Wernette is a regular contributor to the Man-Making Blog. He sent along this video clip saying, "I've noticed that boys/young men often don't know the proper method for dressing/undressing, and thought you might enjoy this video."
OK, it's not really about dressing, or undressing, although that topic deserves its own post. Tim sent it along as a JOKE . . . kind of!
If you look closely, beyond the "humor," there are a lot of other issues raised by the clip. Tim Wernette, is a Gender Equity Educational Specialist with the University of Arizona. He speaks to high school audiences about the destructive aspects of gender stereotypes overlaid on young boys and girls. Tim suggested that behind what passes for humor in the clip is actually a story about the dangerous lengths to which men and young males go to test themselves, to self-initiate, to demonstrate their bravery and skills. Perhaps to live up to the super-male stereotype so common in sports, music, and the media these days.
Boys can easily be victimized by their own biology.
Of course, there is the very real matter of large and multiple surges of testosterone in an adolescent male's body every day. Testosterone has been called the aggression chemical. It's the drug that makes it hard for boys to sit still in classrooms, be defiant around authority figures, be competitive, and sometimes do foolish and dangerous things. Boys can easily be victimized by their own biology.
Yes, boys will be boys. But with good men in their lives to help manage and direct that awesome young male energy, young guys are more inclined to make good choices when it comes to testing their power and proving themselves. Without those good men, young males are left with making up "manhood" on their own. Sadly, they are being guided by the tragic models of manhood provided by film, TV, and too many not-so-good men we read about every day in the papers.
Thanks Tim! Keep up the good work.
By the way, I love guest contributors!
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I'm working with a couple of groups that are doing Rite of Passage weekends. A young male graduate of that experience earns the title of Journeyman. It signifies, while he is not yet a "man," he has left boyish things behind and has been intentionally launched on his journey toward the man he wants to become. After the initiation weekend, in addition to other events, the Journeymen (J-Men) participate in monthly meetings called J-Group.
J-Group often starts with a fun activity, flows into some food, and then the J-Men and men settle in to a circle to talk about what is going on in their lives. If you happen to be working with young males and have occasion to invite them into a similar circle, you may have discovered as we did, that it can be a challenge to get them calmed down and focused up. One way to do that is to start the meeting with a check-in question.
Check-in questions invite everyone to participate, and increase both familiarity and acceptance of one another. Below are a few sample opening questions. Some of them are simply conversation starters and others invite some degree of personal disclosure. The more personal truth the questions requests, the more the guys are invited to be vulnerable and open in their responses. This has the benefit of increasing intimacy and trust in the group while setting the tone for a good meeting.
Describe your favorite (or most hated) food and when you remember first eating it.
After one minute of total quiet, describe what went on in your head.
Name a little thing someone does that really bothers you.
Tell us something you really like (don't like) about this group.
Describe a time when someone betrayed your trust.
Describe a time when you were put down and handled it well (or not so well).
Describe a time when you got away with something you don’t feel good about.
Tell the group 3 things that make you really happy (sad).
Name a man you admire and tell us why.
If the guys are stuck, and you’ve waited a while in silence to give them plenty of opportunity to step up, try having one of the men present volunteer to go first and answer the question. Early in the life of a group, you may want to start with less challenging questions. Once the guys are comfortable with the people in the circle and have experienced sharing "truth," they will like the process.
You can download a PDF copy of these and a few more questions at this link. If you use different questions, or have another strategy for getting these groups started, please share it with me here or add it to the comments section of this post.
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When we do our Rites of Passage weekends, or our “Guys” outings with young males, as much as possible, we try to get them out into the natural world. Never has a generation been so cut off from the physical earth, it's joys, beauty, and lessons it holds. About a year ago I offered a Man-Making blog post on the notion of Nature-Deficit Disorder. For me it gave a name to the costs a young person experiences when they are kept from the natural world. It turns out that there is a growing body of research on the topic, handouts for motivated mentors and examples of programs where adults are teaching kids about the great outdoors.
A recent Wired Mag article titled, The Psychology of Nature,describes some research done at a large housing project on the South Side of Chicago. Some of the residents had a view of nothing but concrete sprawl, the blacktop of parking lots and basketball courts. Others looked out on grassy courtyards filled with trees and flowerbeds. The researcher, Frances Kuo, the director of the Landscape and Human Health Laboratory at the University of Illinois, discovered simply living in an apartment with a view of greenery led to significant improvements in mood, attitude, and ability to cope with problems. Kuo believes simply looking at a tree refreshes the ability to concentrate, and "there is something inherently “restorative” about natural settings.” She is even studying the impact of green school grounds on kids' academic performance.
A long term advocate of the importance of connecting kids and nature is Jon Young. Jon has 25 years of mentoring people, in what he terms a deep nature connection. He is the author of Coyote's Guide to Connecting with Nature, the go-to book on the topic. Jon is also one of the founders of the very successful Wilderness Awareness School. The School's approach to nature education draws upon the vast experiences of naturalists and even that of indigenous peoples from around the world.
In the (somewhat promotional) video below, Jon describes some of the healing of young people he has witnessed as a result of taking kids into the natural world. He also introduces us to two women who are pioneering different programs designed to increase earth literacy in young people. Check out the links below this video clip to learn more about all of these programs. If the clip doesn’t appear use THIS LINK.
Wendolyn Bird - Children, Nature and You - Adding Awe and Wonder to Children's Lives - Invigorating kid's imagination using the natural world. For children 3-5 years old. You may also want to download Wendolyn’s PDF Nature Guide.
Karen Howell: Earth literacy for young people through applied permaculture and the children’s garden. Exploring A Sense of Place programs.
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In this podcast, I talk with Brad about this year's weekend, how it was organized, and what it's like for the young guys and the men involved. You'll learn about topics such as the "mentoring bone," Voyageurs and Manhood, going into the "basement" of a man's life, and how men welcome the young males into men's world.
