Hey Mr. President - We Can Help The Boys!

Mr. President, This is a little rushed, but I heard your speech, and I wanted you to know that I do know a little about some of the challenges facing young black men. I agree with you, we need to find ways to bolster and reinforce African-American boys.

Just for example, it's heartbreaking to learn, according to the America Community Survey:

• A black male born after 1991 has a 29% chance of spending time in prison at some point in his life.
• Nearly one in three African American males, aged 20–29, are under some form of criminal justice supervision whether imprisoned, jailed, on parole or probation.
• One out of nine African American men will be incarcerated between the ages of 20 and 34.
• Black males ages 30 to 34 have the highest incarceration rate of any race/ethnicity.

and,

• Only 52% of Black males graduate from high school. (Schott Foundation, 2012)

Truly, support for this population is critical.

I also feel ALL of "our boys" could use some support. Since about 2005, in this very blog, I've been profiling good men, organizations, and communities, who are scrambling to create innovative ways to support at-risk and other young men. If you look back at the posts in this blog, you'll find a few hundred examples, just about any of which, if scaled up, could make a significant difference in young male lives and the quality of community life across our country.

In this blog alone, you'll read about community-based approaches supporting young males, rite of passage experiences, and help with anger management. There are programs offering mentoring for young males struggling with math and reading, or just staying in school. There are outdoor adventure programs to get young guys out of the hood and into the woods or mountains. There are programs specifically for boys without fathers, some to help young men learn practical living skills, and others to match young men to a caring male ally, some of whom will be a friend and supporter for life. And I know I'm leaving a lot off the list.

What all these programs have in common is they give young males access to solid male role models who care about them. Men who, by the simple fact of their involvement, demonstrate our boys are worth loving and saving. When men show up, regardless of the content of the program, those essential male nutrients of attention, compassion, and blessings are delivered. That is water in the desert for so many of our young males.

Mr. President, I want you to know that each of these programs is a heroic effort on the part of the providers. We seem to be living in a world where investing in youth no longer seems to be a big priority. Far too many of these initiatives have seen their grants reduced or eliminated, and their community funding sources dry up. Yes, we should do something about our out-of-control young males, but today, there is not enough money being invested where the needed changes can be made. We both know prison construction with it's ever growing populations of incarcerated young males is not the answer.

So, Mr. President, if you want to give young men a sense that their country cares about them, and values them, and is willing to invest in them, please read through my blog, or give me a call. I can point you to lots of programs which, if funded and scaled up, will make a big difference in the lives of young black men or any young male needing guidance on his journey toward manhood. Taken together, these programs can reduce violence in our communities, build up all our young males, set them on a path toward a solid and contributing manhood, and greatly increase the quality of life in our communities.

Here are just a couple of programs on my mind right now. How about funding:

Urban Boatbuilders:

UBB is a group of mentors working with young, inner city kids in St. Paul, Minnesota. They teach them about building boats. In all that interaction, of course, there are occasions for learning, skills acquisition, and countless blessings from adults. UBB is currently trying to raise funds to build canoes. When the canoes are completed, they take the young folks into the Boundary Waters Canoe Wilderness Area in northern Minnesota for yet another set of amazing outdoor experiences. Funding UBB would help a lot of kids and, if it was funded nationally, what a difference that could make!

Archie Boone:
My friend Archie is a songwriter/recording artist who is starting to work with young kids in schools. He's a passionate and creative man with a great idea. He just needs a little money to get off the ground. Archie says, I want to use my summer and after-school hours to teach songwriting to inner-city children. My classes will teach them pro-social skills, help them share their thoughts and feelings, while providing a bridge across cultural boundaries, leading to respect of all people. Here is a taste of what Archie is creating:

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a few thousand Archie-like rappers in schools across the country, teaching kids to write their own music, full of love, honesty, respect for men and women, and diversity? Want to fund that jobs program?

Finally, there are all the "Men in Schools" programs that are starting to pop up. One example is the Boys to Men organization, a California based organization with branches in Virginia, Arizona, and elsewhere, where trained men sit in supportive circles with young men. In these small groups, the young guys develop their emotional vocabulary, learn to share and get support for the hard truths in their lives. Many young men, for the first time in their lives, have a positive relationship with a man and learn to trust men in the process. If you even wonder for a moment about the impact of this intervention, check out this video clip.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

How about a Boys to Men group or groups in every school across the country. Now there's a jobs program that will save boys' lives, improve graduation rates, and reduce the prison population. If you really want to bolster and reinforce African-American, or any boys, this might be an approach worth funding.

So Mr. President, there are good people out there with some answers to the boy problem, if only you'll give them a chance. Like I said, just give me a call or send me a quick message. I'll come running with my list and we'll get started helping all our boys.

Earl Hipp

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CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm interested in your thoughts on man-making. Also, I'm available to work with you to bring the right form of man-making to your community or organization.

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Nelson Mandela's Rite of Passage Into Manhood

In the research for the Man-Making book, and in the groups of men I work with, I like to ask men, When was THE moment in time when you became a man?

Stop reading for a moment, and if you're a guy, consider the question: When did YOU become a man?

In men's responses, there were and are always a few answers you'd expect, such as when I got laid for the first time, started to drive, went into the military, or had a child. But by far the most common response was, and always is, I'm not sure I'm a MAN today!

Getting you dick cut changes all that for a young guy. For all that may not be politically correct, hygienic, fair, or even necessary when it comes to circumcision, in places where it's culturally woven into the fabric of community life, the act of having your foreskin cut off leaves no question in a young male's mind about the moment he became a man. I'm not suggesting it should be done, that is much too personal a call. I am only saying I believe young males have a powerful need for a clearly defined, positive, and community supported crossing from boyhood to manhood. The work of making men out of boys, and helping them cross the line and step into the world of men, is ancient and necessary men's work. More on that in future posts.

As he is for many of us, Nelson Mandela is one of my heroes. His image and all he stands for looms large in my heart these days. I was not surprised to learn that among all the lessons embodied in his life and person, he has something to teach us about making of a man out of a boy.

President Mandela is a member of the Xhosa tribe in South Africa. In that tribe's traditions an uncircumcised man is not considered a man at all, but still very much a boy. He is not allowed to inherit the family's resources, he cannot be married, and he is prevented from participating in his community's rituals. While painful, and requires risking death, you can see why boys are willing to endure the long and painful ritual to become a man. In his story below, taken from his book, Long Walk to Freedom, President Mandela describes his experience of becoming an Xhosa man. As you read his story, pay attention for those subtle moments when the boy actually transforms into a young man as a result of the ritual.

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When I was sixteen, the regent decided that it was time that I became a man... It was a sacred time; I felt happy and fulfilled taking part in my people's customs and ready to make the transition from boyhood to manhood.

... At dawn, when the stars were still in the sky, we began our preparations. We were escorted to the river to bathe in its cold waters, a ritual that signified our purification before the ceremony. The ceremony was at midday, and we were commanded to stand in a row in a clearing some distance from the river where a crowd of parents and relatives, including the regent, as well as a handful of chiefs and counsellors, had gathered. We were clad only in our blankets and as the ceremony began, with drums pounding, we were ordered to sit on a blanket on the ground with our legs spread out in front of us. I was tense and anxious, uncertain of how I would react when the critical moment came. Flinching or crying out was a sign of weakness and stigmatized one's manhood. I was determined not to disgrace myself, the group or my guardian. Circumcision is a trial of bravery and stoicism; no anaesthetic is used; a man must suffer in silence.

To the right, out of the corner of my eye, I could see a thin, elderly man emerge from a tent and kneel in front of the first boy. There was excitement in the crowd, and I shuddered slightly, knowing that the ritual was about to begin. The old man was a famous ingcibi, a circumcision expert, from Gcalekaland, who would use his assegai to change us from boys to men with a single blow. Suddenly I heard the first boy cry out, ''Ndiyindoda!' ('I am a man!'), which we had been trained to say at the moment of circumcision. Seconds later, I heard Justice's strangled voice pronounce the same phrase.

There were now two boys before the ingcibi reached me, and my mind must have gone blank because, before I knew it, the old man was kneeling in front of me. I looked directly into his eyes. He was pale, and though the day was cold, his face was shining with perspiration. His hands moved so fast they seemed to be controlled by an otherworldly force. Without a word, he took my foreskin, pulled it forward, and then, in a single motion, brought down his assegai. I felt as if fire was shooting through my veins; the pain was so intense I buried my chin in my chest. Many seconds seemed to pass before I remembered the cry, and then I recovered and called out, 'Ndiyindoda!'

I felt as if fire was shooting through my veins;
the pain was so intense I buried my chin in my chest.

I looked down and saw a perfect cut, clean and round like a ring. But I felt ashamed because the other boys seemed much stronger and firmer than I had been; they had called out more promptly than I had. I was distressed that I had been disabled, however briefly, by the pain, and I did my best to hide my agony. A boy may cry; a man conceals his pain. I had now taken the essential step in the life of every Xhosa man. Now I might marry, set up my own home and plough my own field. I could now be admitted to the councils of the com­munity; my words would be taken seriously.

... Immediately after the blow had been delivered, an assistant who followed the circumcision master took the foreskin that was on the ground and tied it to a corner of our blankets. Our wounds were then dressed with a healing plant, the leaves of which were thorny on the outside but smooth on the inside, which absorbed the blood and other secretions.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, we returned to our huts, where a fire was burning with wet wood that cast off clouds of smoke, which was thought to promote healing. We were ordered to lie on our backs in the smoky huts, with one leg flat, and one leg bent. We were now abakwetha, initiates into the world of manhood. We were looked after by an amakhankatha, or guardian, who explained the rules we had to follow if we were to enter manhood properly. The first chore of the amakhankatha was to paint our naked and shaved bodies from head to foot in white ochre, turning us into ghosts. The white chalk symbolized our purity, and I still recall how stiff the dried clay felt on my body.

That first night, at midnight, an attendant, or ikhankatha, crept around the hut, gently waking each of us. We were then instructed to leave the hut and go tramping through the night to bury our foreskins. The traditional reason for this practice was so that our foreskins would be hidden before wizards could use them for evil purposes, but, symbolically, we were also burying our youth. I did not want to leave the warm hut and wander through the bush in the darkness, but I walked into the trees and, after a few minutes, untied my foreskin and buried it in the earth. I felt as though I had now discarded the last remnant of my childhood.

. . . symbolically, we were also burying our youth.

... On the day of our re-emergence, we went down to the river early in the morning to wash away the white ochre in the waters of the Mbashe. Once we were clean and dry, we were coated in red ochre. The tradition was that one should sleep with a woman, who later might become one's wife, and she rubs off the pigment with her body. [Today, this would present a serious risk of being infected with HIV.] In my case, however, the ochre was removed with a mixture of fat and lard.

... Now I was a man, and I would never again play thinti, or steal maize, or drink milk from a cow's udder. I was already in mourning for my own youth. Looking back, I know that I was not a man that day and would not truly become one for many years.

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If you're inclined, you can anonymously share your experience of crossing the line into manhood with the blog's readers. You can comment in the comment section of this post or send me a quick message. Also, if you, like so many men, did not experience a clear, positive, and supported crossing into the world of men, tell us how do you feel about it today?

Here is a National Geographic video showing almost the same Xhosa Rite of Passage ritual as it's done today.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

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If you are interested in the global trends in the practice of circumcision, here is a great website describing the incidence and distribution of genital cutting in the world for men. The site also contains data on the practice for females and some of the recent legal decisions from different countries regarding the practice.

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CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm interested in your thoughts on man-making. Also, I'm available to work with you to bring the right form of man-making to your community or organziation.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

LIKE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the "Like" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page!

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ADD EACH MAN-MAKING BLOG POST TO YOUR WEBSITE: It's easy to have the Man-Making Blog posts appear on your organization's website. Send me a quick message and I'll tell you what it takes to get set up. To see an example of how it might look on your site, check out the blog page on the Man-Making website.