Being An Imperfect Father: Louis Szekely, known by his fans as Louis C.K., is a Mexican-American comedian, screenwriter, producer, film director, actor, and now, father. For Father's Day, he came out with this funny but intensely personal video (below) about what it means to be a real father. I love the truth-speaking and personal vulnerability with which he owns his lack of perfection as a dad. This is especially touching because C.K.'s parents divorced when he was ten and he said, "his father was around but he did not see him much."
. . . what it means to be a real father.
I think his admission about being a gloriously imperfect but committed father helps those of us who had complicated relationships with their dads to find the path to forgiveness. In giving us this little piece of truth about fatherhood, he gives every man, doing his best as a father, permission to hang in and keep going in spite of self-doubts or even other people's judgments.
Thanks C.K.
How Movies Teach Manhood: Colin Stokes is a father who is concerned about the images of manhood today's films convey to his young son and other boys. In his TED video, How Movies Teach Manhood (below), he says in films today it's too often the case, ". . . if you're a boy you're a dopey animal, and if you're a girl you should bring your warrior costume."
He also describes how fathers can be a good example of manhood and why dads need to manage the "Netflix queue" to be sure their sons are watching films with positive messages about manhood. In the TED talk clip below, I don't agree with all his examples, but I really like his invitation to fathers to be intentional about managing the flow of ideas their sons are taking away from films (and other media).
As Colin Stokes suggests, it's important fathers ensure their sons learn positive lessons like: cooperation is heroic, relationships are important, both genders can share power and be leaders, and women should be respected. It would be great if our young males felt this vision of manhood was more manly than just defeating the villain and getting the girl.
Support Groups for Dads: There are many good men working in support of fathers and families. Here are two good examples:
In a recent Man-Making Blog post, I described some of the common elements of support groups for men and young men. Haji says while his book is focused on groups of fathers, it will be helpful to anyone doing groups with men and young guys. His book is available at Amazon now.
"A toolbox approach to fatherhood
in all its forms."
in all its forms."
- The impact of your dad on your life, the outcomes, and your current options.
- You as a father (or perhaps grandfather now) and the variety of feelings you are carrying about this role.
- Your children’s experience of you as a father – including blended and step family situations.
- Opportunities for enhancing/applying your fathering skills for your children/grandchildren.
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