MAN-MAKING BLOG: May 2016

I believe men are hardwired for initiating young males into manhood, and if a hundred or so males of different ages were shipped off to a remote island, all the right things would eventually happen.

I believe men are hardwired
for initiating young males
into manhood.

Shortly after all the guys arrived on the island, a male hierarchy would quickly be established. All manner of tasks and challenges would be offered and met. Important survival skills would be taught, games and competitions would happen, and there would be a good deal of joking around, farting, and general playfulness.

Along the way, some serious conversations would take place, and important bonds would naturally occur. At some point, the young men would eventually be invited into the men's circles, and it would be a life-changing experience for everyone. I know that scenario is true because I've experienced it many times. Well, maybe not a hundred guys and not on an island, but almost!

Sadly, most men have forgotten their role and responsibility for this ancient and sacred man-making work with young males. The good news is there are places you can go to remember and relearn.

One place is the YMAW, or Young Men's Adventure Weekend. Imagine almost a hundred males, young, old, and older, gathering deep in a wilderness forest outside of Vancouver, British Columbia. It's camping around a large clearing, next to an impossibly beautiful lake, with big mountain backdrop, and in a very old forest. It feels primitive and a little wild just as you'd expect man's world should be. While the events that make up this experience are pretty well scripted, there is a lot of room for male chemistry to work it's magic on everyone.

Here's some beautiful photos from the 2015 YMAW that really tell the story visually.

For a more energized taste of the experience here's a video clip from a past YMAW. The theme for the weekend that year was Voyagers, and the young men were invited to see themselves as explorers and adventurers on their quest for manhood. In addition to the fun, watch for the caring conversations, the challenges to teams of young men, the forest background, and the incredible food! I especially love how the young adventurers arrive in Man's World!

If the clip doesn't show up use this link.

This year the YMAW is being held July 8th - 10th and a spot for you, and maybe that of a young man you know, are waiting. The men who come from distant places are called outlanders but they are treated every bit like a very welcome guest. When you go, the YMAW men will connect with you in advance and assign you a weekend buddy to make sure you have a solid man at your back from arrival to departure. Your ground transportation and gear needs will be handled, so all you have to do is jump in and savor the experience. I've been there, experienced their caring treatment, and loved every minute. It's been going on for over 25 years so I can say these men really know what they are doing.

If you want to combine a trip to a truly beautiful place while hanging out with men in the business of changing young male lives, you really should take a trip to man's world at the YMAW. For more information on attending, or just to talk with the YMAW guys about this kind of man-making work, visit the YMAW website. You can also contact one of the YMAW founders, Brad Leslie at bradleslie@telus.net. I know the YMAW men will be happy to hear from you.

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Follow @earlh

It makes me happy to know that men around the world are supporting young guys on their path toward manhood. It's good work for men and always good for the boys. Dick Baker is a leader and mentor with JourneymanUK in Stroud, Gloucestershire, Great Britain. This is his story of how he found some direction for his life when he connected with other men and formed a group to initiate boys.

As I approach my 50th year, I feel grateful for an amazing first half of my life. I have always been an optimist, taken opportunities, and just gone with the flow. In many ways this has served me. But it was in my mid-thirties, after my wife and I had moved our family across the country for a better life, when I started to have questions about my purpose in life. Who was I really and how was I showing up in the world? Why had I spent so long without ever really asking these questions? I didn’t really know where to go for the answers, but having put out the questions, the answers, of course, came . . . just much later in life.

. . . an initiation of sorts in 2009
helped me to understand a lot more
about what it is to be a man.

As it turned out, going through an initiation of sorts in 2009 helped me to understand a lot more about what it is to be a man in today’s world and gave my life some meaningful direction. Some answers came as the result of my accepting an invitation to join other local men on an Inner Mentor Training (IMT) hosted by a Boys to Men leader from the United States.

Part of the IMT training was remembering what my teenage self was like. You see, my teenager didn't have many male role models to guide him. I hadn't learned to really trust myself, be true to myself, or even to accept myself. While there were men in my life, none of them took on the role of being a mentor and guide. I realized that if men had chosen to be involved in my life when I was a teenager, I might have stepped into early manhood more consciously and at the right age. I would have found I had real gifts to bring the world, was a person of value, and had men as guides for those difficult years.

To be honest after the IMT training, I was left feeling sad I had to wait to almost mid-life to find these gifts in myself. So when the men from Stroud were riding home from the training in a minibus, we all talked about how we might create something for teenage boys in our community. By the time we got home the seeds of movement were planted and JourneymanUK was born.

We held our first Rite of Passage Adventure Weekend in the spring of 2011. Since then our core of about 20 men, supported by many others, have done four passage weekends and held space for 52 boys to ‘initiate’ themselves on their way to manhood. After their weekend the boys earn the title of Journeyman or Jman, and there are now two Jman group mentoring circles for boys in Stroud and Bristol that meet regularly.

A Group Photo of the Whole Tribe

I recently asked a young man who went on his passage weekend in 2014 for feedback. He was still feeling the impact two years later. He said, “It hit me later on. When something comes up now, I understand it better. I think oh yeah that’s what Journeyman was about. It's like an epiphany! I’m feeling the benefits even more now."

. . . none of the men in JourneymanUK
can ever know what the impact
of having had this kind of initiation
earlier in our lives would have meant.

Like me, none of the men in JourneymanUK can ever know what the impact of having had this kind of initiation earlier in our lives would have meant. Yet, as we hold the space for today's boys, lovingly yet fierce, vulnerable yet standing strong, and often playful, we know we are doing important men's work and making a positive difference in the boys' lives. Today I know 52 boys who won't have to wait till mid-life to know they are seen, deemed trustworthy, appreciated, and have good men at their backs. In these experiences, I know I am not only serving the boys and thus the community, but healing my inner teenager along the way.

I've been on many passage weekends and each time I'm reminded that initiating and supporting young males moving toward manhood is really important and natural men's work. It's often life changing for the boys, and very good for the men, too! Even after fifteen years in the work, these weekend events always melt and reforms my masculine heart and makes me a better man. I'm thinking that's what's happened to Dick and the other men of JourneymanUK, and I hope you get a chance to discover that for yourself.

You can contact Dick Baker to learn about his experience at dick.baker@journeymanuk.org. On the JourneymanUK website you can learn more about the organization and their upcoming Rites of Passage Adventure Weekend on the 7th – 10th of July, 2016.

SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and not in subscription posts delivered by email.)

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Follow @earlh

MAN-MAKING BLOG

May 29, 2016

Welcoming Young Men To Man's World

May 3, 2016

Initiating Teenage Lads in the UK