The Gentlemen's Agreement

For years I've been writing about how so many of our young boys need the support and guidance from non-parental adults. In some ways, it's a replacement for, or addition to, the approach of surrounding them with extended family and "it takes a village...," that used to be how raising kids was naturally done. The basic idea is providing kids with this kind of exposure to caring adults in schools!

"...the new norm for education..."

The genius in this idea is that schools are where the boys are corralled and where we can get their attention. This is what one New Jersey high school principal, profiled in my last blog post, described as, "...the new norm for education..." where we put, "...some loving people in the (school) building...."

In my winter home in Arizona, I'm working with Boys to Men Tucson, where a big part of our programming is putting trained and background-checked men into middle and high schools. They offer support group experiences to young men aged 12-17 during the school day. The academic data we've collected, the boy's reports, the praise from the schools, and the feedback from parents all tell us this is clearly an idea whose time has come.

Participants in The Gentlemen's Agreement

A recent article in The Wilson Times, from Wilson, North Carolina, describes a similar program for boys called, The Gentlemen's Agreement. This program was started at the high school level and has now moved into two elementary schools. They know it's working because when you can get a fifth grader to say he has "learned to take responsibility for his actions," you have clearly and positively altered the trajectory of that young man's life.

The Gentlemen's Agreement program offers career inventories, has conversations about college or other careers, teaches leadership skills, and covers heady ideas like what it takes to become a good man! Who would you, dear reader, be today if you had exposure to these ideas when you were in the 5th grade? You can read all about this wonderful program in The Wilson Times article.

On the Man-Making Blog, if you put the word "school" into the right sidebar search window, you will find many years' worth of descriptions of school-based programs like The Gentlemen's Agreement for boys. What all these programs have in common is they need people like you to help them run. I like to say that what the boys need and really want is time with gloriously imperfect men, who care enough about our young guys to show up.

"Because you're still reading this post,
it means you're interested and qualified..."

If not yet, this idea of supporting boys in schools will soon be arriving in your community. Because you're still reading this post, it means you're interested and qualified to participate. You could start now by asking around about volunteer opportunities at a school near you. Or maybe you can start a boy's group in a school! If you're interested, give me a shout, and we can talk about how to do it.

What I know for sure is that the boys are waiting for men, just like you, to appear and make a difference in their lives.

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