Five Heroic Boys Succeed At Reverse-Bullying!

We've all heard a lot about bullies. I was bullied mercilessly as a small kid when I was in elementary school. I'll bet you were too. For me the bullying was emotional and occasionally physical terrorism that played out in the small world of the playground and halls of my elementary school. I was one of those kids who, on some days, played sick to avoid the big kids and their taunting. That was long before anti-bullying programs. But that's not what this post is about.

. . . maybe it's not enough to
just stop bad behavior . . .

There is certainly a need for anti-bullying programs, but maybe it's not enough to just stop bad behavior. Perhaps we should be creating something new and positive to replace it! For the moment, let's call that new, non-bullying behavior reverse-bullying. I'll have some other names for this new behavior at the end. Reverse-bullying is what I found in this story about a small pack of really awesome fifth grade boys. With the help of some inspired adults, these boys intentionally went way beyond anti-bullying and created something totally different and very heart-warming.

In the story from KARE 11 TV, you'll read about how the boys created an initiative that's pro-vulnerable kids. They are a boy pack, yet they are almost unique in that they chose not to bully, but to intentionally protect, support, and include a vulnerable kid who'd otherwise be an easy bullying target. The video below shows them in action. If you look closely, you'll see some of the many gifts their new pal, James, is getting, and how all the young guys are feeling better about themselves as a result.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

. . . let's give this kind of boy behavior a name,
and actually teach it . . .!

While I'm really proud of these awesome young guys, it's actually a sad statement about the world when their story makes the news. It's sad because something as wonderful as their acts of love, generosity, and inclusion are so unusual. I say, let's give this kind of boy behavior a name like sponsorship, or incorporation, or pro-friendship, and actually teach it in school! Let's not just be against bullying, but take a stand for behaviors that make a positive difference in kids' lives. Let's start teaching young guys about the benefits of caring for others, standing up for the vulnerable, how to break out of clicks and be inclusive, and how to align with other young guys to make a difference in their school. What kind of adult men will that training eventually create?

What kind of adult men will that training eventually create?

We can only hope these guys and the adults around them are setting a new bar for boys (and girls) in schools everywhere. Meanwhile, kudos, gratitude, and honor to the five young men, Jake, Jack, Gus, Tyler, Landon, and their pal, James, who are so inspirational and give us such a powerful lesson.

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Film Review: HEALINGRestoring Hope and A (Young) Man's Spirit

By Guest Reviewer: Brian Mier of Eagle Health Resources, Melbourne, Australia

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Healing is a 2014 Australian movie about hope and the healing of the spirit in a most unlikely place. It ranks very high in my list of worthy movies about men – young and old – and men’s work.

The movie is based on a true story about a raptor rescue program at the Won Wron Correctional Centre, a low-security prison farm east of Melbourne. The heart of the film is about bringing together male prisoners, emotionally damaged by their past violent actions, and wounded birds of prey. It’s about how both men and raptors heal and prepare for release.

Viktor Khadem is in prison for the murder of his best friend, and has had no contact with the outside world for 18 years. He’s at Won Wron to get ready for release and re-entry. During a work detail in the bush, prisoners witness an eagle colliding with a barbed wire fence and being injured. This event gives rise to an unlikely partnership between Viktor and the bird which profoundly changes them both.

"Never look too deep into the abyss my friend,
or the abyss will look back into you!"

How is it relevant to Man-Making? In addition to what happens between Viktor and the eagle in the film, we watch two older men, Viktor, the prisoner, and a case worker, each of whom has been damaged by events in their lives, as they help two younger prisoners. One young prisoner is in the pit of isolation with low self-esteem, and at the start is unable to look anyone in the eye with his head constantly bowed. The other is a brash young guy who is too easily influenced by others and is induced to be part of the drug circle at the prison camp. We often see both types of young men in society. Through mentoring and support, the young men work through issues such as anger, low self-esteem, guilt, and social isolation to rehabilitate themselves. In the process, these young men also find healing which takes place in unexpected and many-layered ways.

In this video clip you'll get a sample of the beauty of the location and some of the inter-play between the characters.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

I liked how the film was different from so many prison dramas in that it doesn’t focus on the ugly and violent side of incarceration. Instead, it powerfully speaks to the need for prisoner rehabilitation and the importance of preparing men for re-entry into everyday life. It directly shows us the need for true healing of an incarcerated man or boy’s spirit prior to release, and the importance of intentionally reconnecting them with a realistic hope for a meaningful life.

In my view, this is a superb and inspiring movie to screen for discussion in any men’s group. I also think men working with younger males in a correctional setting would find it especially valuable.

At this Wikipedia link you can find a brief synopsis of the film, but there’s a lot more available with a quick web search. The DVD is also available on Amazon and through other movie outlets.

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Brian Mier is a 70-year-old man who is Eldering with Purpose – offering his services to men, families and communities who are seeking to be the best they can be. He is the father of four adult children, eight grandkids, and loves taking the latter on Adventures with Grandpa to explore the simple beauty of life and relationships. You can contact Brian at info@eaglehealth.net.au

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Chasing Chickens and Rites of Passage for Young Men

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In the past, I've written about Rite of Passage rituals for boys that have occurred down through time and across the globe. I've described their importance in a young man's life as they often mark the transition from boyhood to manhood. These passage events often include trials of endurance, skills and lessons to be learned, traditional costumes, sacred songs and dance, and occasionally, altered states of consciousness. Often there is a male pack heading off to "man's world" for the man-making work and when it's all over, a triumphant return to a celebratory community of family and friends.

I've learned not to judge these ritual events from the lens of my value system, but rather to look for the ritual commonalities and the many benefits for the participants and their communities.

The Le Courir de Mardi Gras is a traditional event held in many small Cajun communities of southwest Louisiana and it's a Rites of Passage event for many young men. Courir de Mardi Gras is Cajun French for "Fat Tuesday Run," and traditionally, it was a man's world event that precedes the six weeks of Lent with drinking and some pretty rowdy behavior. Today, in many towns, the event has lightened up over the years, and now invites women and sometimes kids. It takes place on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday.

In the Le Courir, the revelers are dressed in tattered, homemade fringe and calico rags, with their faces covered by hand-painted wire mesh masks. They start the party early in the morning, and then the revelers head out on horseback, on foot, in pickup trucks, or are pulled on trailers. Much like Halloween, they go house to house on a pre-planned route, and at each stop, there's some combination of dancing, drinking, and begging for ingredients for a big pot of gumbo to be enjoyed at the end of the run that evening. That's the nice story.

. . . an initiatory experience for a young man
and why
it's a very bad day to be chicken!

In an article for the myNewOrleans.com blog, writer Chris Rose fills in the rich details including how the day of the Le Courir can be an initiatory experience for a young man and why it's a very bad day to be chicken.

One of the most challenging elements of the Le Courir is catching a live chicken to be used in the evening's gumbo. At the farms along the way the homeowners, who are in on the fun, will do things like release the chicken from their roof top just to make the chase more interesting. Apparently, the competition is fierce. It's said catching a live chicken, while running through a muddy field, when you're wearing a heavy costume, and competing with other mildly drunk males who are after the same prize, is quite an ordeal.

As Mr. Rose states, "Catching a chicken at Mardi Gras is a rite of passage, a badge of honor, a ceremonial initiation into adulthood for young men on the Cajun prairie, like a first kiss or a first car. You don’t want to be a guy who never caught a chicken on Mardi Gras."

In addition to whatever status and bragging rights the victors have at the Gumbo dinner and in the year ahead, the Le Courir is also good for the towns. Because so many of these southwest Louisiana towns have been hammered by hurricanes over the last few years, tearing communities apart, today the revived Le Courir tradition brings back a much-needed sense of history, community, and cohesion.

If a Le Courir event is not your thing and you want to talk about creating Rites of Passage events for a young man or group of young guys, give me a shout. I'd be happy to help you create just the right event. I can say with certainty that any locally appropriate and intentionally created passage experience will benefit the young males, the men and women who make it happen, and your community in general. Chickens are completely optional

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