MAN-MAKING BLOG: innovation

Showing posts with label innovation. Show all posts

May 24, 2019

Man-Making Heroes - Bringing Love to School

He's going to any lengths to keep kids safe.

In the clip below, listen to one of my heroes, Akbar Cook, the principal of West Side High School in Newark, New Jersey. He says, "Let's put some loving people in the building...." If he is right, and this is, "...the new norm for education...," we all have a place in his vision and some work to do.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

Oh yeah, as it turns out, the famous Oprah heard about the Lights on Program and donated a half-million dollars to Newark's West Side High School!

"Let's put some loving people in the building..."

We all can't be Oprah, but what small thing can you do to support "our" kids?

Thanks to another of my heroes, Joe Sigurdson of the Boys to Men Mentoring Network in San Diego for his example and this inspiration.

CONTACT EARL: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm also available to help you bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

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May 2, 2015

Reverse Mentoring - Across the Generations

I've seen it on adventure outings, on Rite of Passage weekend experiences, at a cookout, and in school circles. Everyone is looking down the road of their life and on the lookout for a little guidance. It's a good bet that someone who has travelled the path ahead of you will be the carrier of some helpful wisdom. If you gather males in a pack with a mix of ages, creating a multi-generational male tribe, the right things happen. Boys, teenagers, young men, men, and the elders all have something to learn from each other. In fact, any time caring people connect across the generations a lot of very good things happen.

. . . reverse mentoring,
with youth bearing considerable gifts for the elders.

Recently, I came across an unusual twist on the idea of connecting across the generations. You could think of it as reverse mentoring with youth bearing considerable gifts for the elders. The program is called Cyber-Seniors - Connecting Generations. In their workshops, techno-savvy young people are partnered with a techno-impaired older person, and the exchanges are hilarious, heart-warming, and good for everyone involved.

Here is a short clip about the program taken from their award winning documentary film. You have to love grandma saying, ". . . can you explain a bit about this face . . . something and having to be a friend?"

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

What I really like about this program is how, over the course of the private training by the young person, a lot of important things are shared. Of course, there are all the techno-how to's, but I almost think that's the lesser of the gifts. How about the many elder stories shared, or a young person's esteem boosted as the "teacher." You can see the joy of discovery as the elder students discover the digital world and develop their skills. I know mutual caring was expressed, maybe in techno-patience by the young people. I'm just as certain elder blessings were poured out on the youngsters. In a world where so many family members are distant, a little grandparent/grand kid energy mingled can be a very good thing. And all that's just for starters, and it happens naturally!

Can you think of a way to help our young people connect across the generations? It doesn't have to be a "program." Any organizing principle, from a tire changing class, cooking something, a fishing expedition, building something with tools, or any excuse really is fine. Gather a multi-generational group with some kind of central focus and then just stand back and watch it work. And no, you don't even have to be "friends" to get started!

If you like the Cyber-Seniors idea and want to learn more about their offerings, visit their website. You can learn how to have the full documentary brought to a location near you.

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April 10, 2015

Does being “pro-boy” mean “anti-girl?”

In a short article titled, Save Our Boys, by Esther J. Cepeda in the Washington Post, she describes her conversation with Dr. Leonard Sax. Dr. Sax is the author of the book, Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men. Dr. Sax, M.D., Ph.D., is a family doctor, a PhD psychologist, and the founder of the National Association for Choice in Education (NACE).

In the description of his book Dr. Sax says, "Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. While Emily is working hard at school and getting A’s, her brother Justin is goofing off. He’s more concerned about getting to the next level in his video game than about finishing his homework."

Something scary is happening to boys today.

At the heart of her story, Ms. Cepeda uncovered Dr. Sax's disappointment with how often showing up for boys is seen as being anti-girl. It's sad, but often the reality I've encountered in speaking to groups. In Ms. Cepeda's interview with Dr. Sax, he said, “. . . I didn’t have an appreciation for the degree to which this topic is political,”. . . . “The assumption is that if you advocate for boys, you are right-of-center, and if you advocate for girls you are left-of center. And you must work very hard to make people understand that not only are the politics not the most important issue, but that if you’re seeing boys as the ‘losers’ of good education and work opportunities, girls are not the ‘winners,’ either. But when you start talking about offering boy-friendly instructional strategies, then you must be against girls.”

Dr. Sax does offer gender-neutral prescriptions in his book. He told Ms. Cepeda, “With just a little bit of training and permission, administrators and teachers can greatly boost achievement for boys without drowning out girls,” Sax said. “It is not a zero-sum game. Gender-aware instructional strategies don’t cost much money and have the potential to get boys excited about writing and girls excited about computer coding. But the notion that boys and girls need something different to love writing or computers is deeply offensive to scholars.”

Sadly, Dr. Sax has become cynical about ever finding a motivated audience and has returned to full-time medical practice. I believe Dr. Sax is very much on the right track. Too many of our young males are "adrift," and would benefit greatly from experimentation with young-male-focused educational approaches. I also feel the overarching quest should be to come up with an educational system that brings out the best in all of our children.

The Program for International Student Assessment, or PISA, which collects test results from 65 countries for its rankings, says in 2012, "U.S. students ranked below average in math among the world's most-developed countries. They were close to average in science and reading." Taken directly from their data, 29 nations outperformed the United States in math, 22 in science, and 19 in reading, all much worse performance than the data collected in 2009. All of our kids deserve better.

As you consider the idea of more young-male-literate educational approaches, check out what comes up for you! Are you carrying a gender bias when it comes to their education?

You can read Ms. Cepeda's full article on her Washington Post web page, and find Dr. Sax's book on Amazon.

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December 16, 2013

What Motivated Men Can Create!

In the video below, you can see and learn about one absolutely amazing world men have created. The video does raise an interesting question for me:

What kind of world could men create
in support of young males,
if they were inclined?

The very short story is this amazing work of art and craftsmanship was created because two brothers in Germany went looking for a place to show their hobby. Soon they were joined by men from other 'Model Railroad Clubs' and other craftsmen. Some were electricians, model makers, carpenters, and computer programmers. Ten years and 500,000 working hours later, the Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg, Germany is now the city's most popular tourist attraction with over a million visitors a year.

A TINY portion of the place!

Currently, the Miniatur Wunderland is comprised of 8 miniature worlds, it has 13 kilometers of track with 900 trains, and whole cities full of animated activities. There are subways, cruise ships, and the most recent addition, a fully functional airport with planes that look like they actually take off and land. You can see firetruck going to a fire, police cars stopping traffic, a game in the sports stadium, a rock concert, and there is even a chocolate factory that delivers a mini-chocolate bar to the viewers! The creativity in the details are extraordinary. You can watch a 24 hour day pass by in just under an hour, with all the locations, including the airport, lighting up for the night. You really do have to see this one to believe it.

After seeing it, I wonder if you'll be left with the same questions. What could engaged and motivated men create for young males if they were inclined? What could happen if men shared their hobbies and then invited men and young males to get involved? In addition to the shared guy energy, just imagine what the young males learn about construction, math, science, engineering, art, and working with others to create something wonderful. Just imagine what they could learn about men and manhood!

Do you know of a group of men and young males gathering around a common interest like Miniatur Wunderland? If so, share it with me and I'll run up a blog post about them.

Do you have an interest, talent, or hobby you might share with some of the men and young males in your community? I can assure you there are men and young males out there who would be interested. You never know what can happen when you just risk being open, available, and visible.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

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September 22, 2013

The Ever Forward Club - The Power of One Man

I met Ashanti Branch in July of 2013 when we were both “outlander” staff men at the YMAW, or Young Men’s Adventure Weekend, held near Vancouver, British Columbia. Ashanti is currently a Vice Principal at the Montera Middle School in Oakland, CA. He was using his summer being Ashanti, and accumulating rich experiences, ideas, and new skills to take back to Oakland to increase his impact on his community.

Ten years ago Ashanti founded The Ever Forward Club (EFC), a not-for-profit organization in Oakland, CA. The program was started to support young men of color in high school who were failing 50 percent or more of their classes.

In the last ten years, Ashanti has put together a solid, school-based program that's had an amazing impact on countless numbers of kids, a couple of inner-city schools, and their surrounding communities. Over the years of tracking the progress of their EFC participants, they have recorded some incredible statistics. In the past eight years:

100% of the EFC members have graduated high school.
90% of the EFC graduates attend 2 or 4 year colleges after high school.
1000+ students, faculty, family and friends have participated in their Annual 24 Hour Relay Challenge which promotes community building and healthy living.

If you work in this field, you know the power in those numbers and the many small victories it's taken to achieve that degree of success. It’s easy to see why Ashanti Branch is on my list of heroes and a brother in mission. His current goal is to bring the EFC to 20 middle schools and 20 high schools by the fall of 2015, potentially supporting as many as 1,000 individual students! I have no doubt Ashanti will reach that goal!

I recently spoke with Ashanti to learn more about what he's learned in his 10 years with The Ever Forward Club. In the recording below, you can hear how the EFC got started, how it’s grown, and about the four core principles of Academic Development, Personal Development, Community Development, and Family Development, that have made it so successful.

You’ll also hear how Ashanti’s 'young male' literacy has evolved over time. I just love the part where he tells us what keeps him in this challenging work. If you like hearing about real man-making, this short clip will be very much worth your time.

Click the arrow to start play (may take a second to load)

If the player isn't visible, click on this direct link.

If you took the time to listen, you’ll see why I so respect and honor Ashanti for his powerful dedication to the young males in his world. Makes me wish I had an Ashanti in my life growing through my teen years. What I love about his story is that it’s another tale of how much difference one very motivated man can make. In ten years, Ashanti Branch has touched thousands of lives, and the positive reverberations of that impact just can’t be measured. AND, he’s just getting started!

You can learn more about The Ever Forward Club on his website, everforwardclub.org, or you can email Ashanti directly.

If you’re inclined to make a donation in support of one very reliable man-maker, working in extremely challenging circumstances, and getting extraordinary results, I know Ashanti will put the funds to good use. You can donate at the FirstGiving donation site, or make a check out to Warrior Films c/o Ever Forward Club, and send it to The Ever Forward Club, Ashanti Branch, 7514 Holly St. Oakland, CA 94621.

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

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July 21, 2013

Hey Mr. President - We Can Help The Boys!

Mr. President, This is a little rushed, but I heard your speech, and I wanted you to know that I do know a little about some of the challenges facing young black men. I agree with you, we need to find ways to bolster and reinforce African-American boys.

Just for example, it's heartbreaking to learn, according to the America Community Survey:

A black male born after 1991 has a 29% chance of spending time in prison at some point in his life.
Nearly one in three African American males, aged 20–29, are under some form of criminal justice supervision whether imprisoned, jailed, on parole or probation.
One out of nine African American men will be incarcerated between the ages of 20 and 34.
Black males ages 30 to 34 have the highest incarceration rate of any race/ethnicity.

and,

Only 52% of Black males graduate from high school. (Schott Foundation, 2012)

Truly, support for this population is critical.

I also feel ALL of "our boys" could use some support. Since about 2005, in this very blog, I've been profiling good men, organizations, and communities, who are scrambling to create innovative ways to support at-risk and other young men. If you look back at the posts in this blog, you'll find a few hundred examples, just about any of which, if scaled up, could make a significant difference in young male lives and the quality of community life across our country.

In this blog alone, you'll read about community-based approaches supporting young males, rite of passage experiences, and help with anger management. There are programs offering mentoring for young males struggling with math and reading, or just staying in school. There are outdoor adventure programs to get young guys out of the hood and into the woods or mountains. There are programs specifically for boys without fathers, some to help young men learn practical living skills, and others to match young men to a caring male ally, some of whom will be a friend and supporter for life. And I know I'm leaving a lot off the list.

What all these programs have in common is they give young males access to solid male role models who care about them. Men who, by the simple fact of their involvement, demonstrate our boys are worth loving and saving. When men show up, regardless of the content of the program, those essential male nutrients of attention, compassion, and blessings are delivered. That is water in the desert for so many of our young males.

Mr. President, I want you to know that each of these programs is a heroic effort on the part of the providers. We seem to be living in a world where investing in youth no longer seems to be a big priority. Far too many of these initiatives have seen their grants reduced or eliminated, and their community funding sources dry up. Yes, we should do something about our out-of-control young males, but today, there is not enough money being invested where the needed changes can be made. We both know prison construction with it's ever growing populations of incarcerated young males is not the answer.

So, Mr. President, if you want to give young men a sense that their country cares about them, and values them, and is willing to invest in them, please read through my blog, or give me a call. I can point you to lots of programs which, if funded and scaled up, will make a big difference in the lives of young black men or any young male needing guidance on his journey toward manhood. Taken together, these programs can reduce violence in our communities, build up all our young males, set them on a path toward a solid and contributing manhood, and greatly increase the quality of life in our communities.

Here are just a couple of programs on my mind right now. How about funding:

Urban Boatbuilders:

UBB is a group of mentors working with young, inner city kids in St. Paul, Minnesota. They teach them about building boats. In all that interaction, of course, there are occasions for learning, skills acquisition, and countless blessings from adults. UBB is currently trying to raise funds to build canoes. When the canoes are completed, they take the young folks into the Boundary Waters Canoe Wilderness Area in northern Minnesota for yet another set of amazing outdoor experiences. Funding UBB would help a lot of kids and, if it was funded nationally, what a difference that could make!

Archie Boone:
My friend Archie is a songwriter/recording artist who is starting to work with young kids in schools. He's a passionate and creative man with a great idea. He just needs a little money to get off the ground. Archie says, I want to use my summer and after-school hours to teach songwriting to inner-city children. My classes will teach them pro-social skills, help them share their thoughts and feelings, while providing a bridge across cultural boundaries, leading to respect of all people. Here is a taste of what Archie is creating:

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a few thousand Archie-like rappers in schools across the country, teaching kids to write their own music, full of love, honesty, respect for men and women, and diversity? Want to fund that jobs program?

Finally, there are all the "Men in Schools" programs that are starting to pop up. One example is the Boys to Men organization, a California based organization with branches in Virginia, Arizona, and elsewhere, where trained men sit in supportive circles with young men. In these small groups, the young guys develop their emotional vocabulary, learn to share and get support for the hard truths in their lives. Many young men, for the first time in their lives, have a positive relationship with a man and learn to trust men in the process. If you even wonder for a moment about the impact of this intervention, check out this video clip.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

How about a Boys to Men group or groups in every school across the country. Now there's a jobs program that will save boys' lives, improve graduation rates, and reduce the prison population. If you really want to bolster and reinforce African-American, or any boys, this might be an approach worth funding.

So Mr. President, there are good people out there with some answers to the boy problem, if only you'll give them a chance. Like I said, just give me a call or send me a quick message. I'll come running with my list and we'll get started helping all our boys.

Earl Hipp

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm interested in your thoughts on man-making. Also, I'm available to work with you to bring the right form of man-making to your community or organization.

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May 29, 2013

A Creative, Community-Based Program for Developing Good Men, Engaged Boys, and Strong Neighborhoods

I’m always on the lookout for interesting and innovative programs in which men show up for young males. The Better Housing Coalition initiative at the Winchester Greens community in Richmond, VA, is a great example and has some very creative elements. It's a program that supports young males, enhances men’s lives, enriches an up and coming neighborhood, and has a corporate sponsor! That is a great mix of elements for changing lots of people's lives and building strong communities!

Boys To Men of Richmond Virginia (BTM-VA) is an organization that has been in the business of initiating young men on Rite of Passage Adventure weekends for a long time. The graduates of those weekends are called Journeymen or J-Men. After their weekend, the J-Men get ongoing support with group mentoring, fun outings, and support group circles where boys and men sit and have honest conversations about the challenges and victories in their lives.

After one of their passage weekends, the mother of a J-Man asked BTM-VA if they would offer their services for her son and other boys at a local community center in her neighborhood. That request launched a collaborative pilot program that might be duplicated in other communities. Here is part of the conversation I had with BTM-VA’s Executive Director, Steve Martin, to learn more about how this program works.

Earl: I'm really excited to hear about your Winchester Greens initiative with collaborative partners I've not seen working together before. Will you tell us more about the program and how it all came about?

Steve: After a call from a J-Man’s mom, I was put in contact with Nina Williams. She is Social Services Director for the Winchester Greens Community. This community is one of many being developed by the Better Housing Coalition, a local group in the business of stabilizing “emerging” neighborhoods by offering people access to affordable home ownership.

We developed a Memorandum of Understanding with the Better Housing Coalition and Winchester Greens, and then Nina helped us identify some 12-17 year-old young guys who might be a fit. We wrote a letter to the candidates and their parents describing our programs, which Nina sent out, inviting them to an orientation meeting.

Earl: I’m guessing it was pretty important to have an on-site champion like Nina to help get the boys and the parents to attend.

Steve: Yes, Nina was great, and a big part of the success of the launch. For a first time pilot, we really needed an intermediary between us and the community. At the orientation meeting, we provided food and beverages and then did a short presentation. We introduced ourselves, shared our vision for the program, and then invited guys to sign up. We had the parents right there to sign the needed waivers, and out of that evening, we got enough guys to launch a pilot.

Earl: So what did the program look like once launched?

Steve: Our program design is to only meet when school is in session. We started last October and we’ll continue through the first week of June (2013). We began with a few of our (background checked) men and a J-Man or two sitting in weekly, one-hour circles with the Winchester Greens boys. The 6 PM afternoon time slot made it easy for our men and the boys to attend. We also invited the Winchester Greens guys to join in on our monthly BTM-VA “out events.” That’s when we do something fun in the community, like rock climbing, white water rafting, or visiting a theme park.

Earl: That is a similar approach to other programs I’m aware of. It’s a nice mix of play and group mentoring at the "out" events, and then straight talk with men and peers in the support circles. How did the Winchester Greens guys take to your program?

Steve: Pretty well. We have developed a core of between 4-6 young guys and have others flying by to check us out. Many of these guys live with unstable home lives so there is always some moving away and new guys showing up. What was really clear is the core 4-6 boys really get a lot from our meetings.

Earl: I understand you also included your core Winchester Greens guys in the BTM-VA Rite of Passage Adventure Weekend this past April.

Steve: Yes, it was really a highlight for these young men. To make that work, we had another meeting with the parents and boys prior to the weekend to help the parents understand the passage experience and to make sure the boys were really committed. We wound up with 4 Winchester Greens boys out of a total of 19 initiates on the weekend. As always, the weekend went great and was a fun and moving experience for the new Winchester Greens J-Men.

Earl: One of the unique aspects of this program is that you had a corporate sponsor underwriting the involvement of your Winchester Greens guys. What a wonderful public-private partnership for both community enrichment and even violence prevention. How did the sponsorship come about?

Steve: That was done by the Better Housing Coalition. They got a grant from Capital One that covered all the expenses for our circles, a years’ worth of "out events," and for their tuition for the Right of Passage Adventure (ROPA).

Earl: Did Capital One have any special criteria you had to meet?

Steve: Not really. We had already been in process with the Winchester Greens program for 6 months when we applied for the grant. I think the funders saw an established organization of good men who were consistently showing up for boys. We had already been doing the Winchester Greens program without outside funding so our commitment to these boys was pretty obvious. To help with attracting future sponsors, there was some data gathered during the program with the help of a college intern. In her research, she identified improvements in the boy's grades and in the guy’s general attitude. There was also a reduction of in-school suspensions.

Earl: Will you continue with the Winchester Greens site-based program?

Steve: This is just what I and the men of BTM-VA do! We’ll continue to show up, wherever we can, with sponsors or not, in order to support young men. After a meal a couple weeks ago, I asked the new Winchester Greens J-Men what they thought of the ROPA. Remember, these are guys who are normally pretty well shielded. Almost in unison they said, “Ya know, 5 minutes after we left the ROPA, we all knew we wanted to go back . . . and not ever leave!” That was one pretty incredible truth statement from all of them.

That’s what we do, create safe places where these young men can be real, get a sense for their gifts, and have their potential seen and honored. Along the way they are picking up a new definition of manhood. I don’t know about all our men, but speaking for myself, I love this work. I love seeing young men change for the better, and it just makes me a better man. How can you not like that?

For more information about this program, you can contact Steve Martin at 804-615-7823, or by email at stevebtmva@yahoo.com

If you have an interest in doing support circles or passage experiences for the young men in your neighborhood, religious community, or school, send me and email and I'll help you get started.

You can be sure the boys around you are waiting for you to act.

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December 21, 2012

Newtown CT, the President, Good News, and the Men's Community Resource Cooperative

I haven’t posted in a while. I've been struggling with the idea I actually live in a world where twenty children and six adults can be murdered in an elementary school. For a guy that likes to write, I have found myself mostly wordless. I'm still not back, but here are some random thoughts:

I find it terribly odd to watch the relentless quest by the authorities to figure out WHY the shooter (I’m not naming them any more), did what he did. To me, it’s always a perfect storm of the same elements: a very angry or over-the-edge-crazy young white guy, a struggling-to-do-her-best single mom, an unresponsive or impenetrable "mental health" system, some form of fatherlessness, and easy access to way too much killing power. There are variations on the mix, but for me, the “why” is always buried somewhere in that story.

So I've decided not to jump into the fray of being angry and demanding some piece of the puzzle be fixed. In the President's touching speech to the Newtown community, he said, " . . . keeping our children safe and teaching them well is something we can only do together, with the help of friends and neighbors, the help of a community and a nation." I'm a communitarian at heart, and the best action I can take is to continue to call men into man-making service to young males.

I'm a communitarian at heart

So in this blog you will continue to learn about man-making related programs for young guys in churches, schools, and communities, where heroic men (and women) are changing and saving young male lives. I will continue to hope that someday those stories will be seen in the mainstream media. If not because the people working in those trenches are total community heroes, then at least as a counter-point to our 24 hour news cycle preoccupation with the dark side of all these tragic events.

In the meantime, I will dream big dreams of a better world. Like the dream I had where every adult man reached out to one (lost) young male in his family, spiritual group, neighborhood, or community. That action alone would sweep countless lost young men into the caring safety net of masculine support and guidance. Of course, in my dreams, I don’t have to worry about the creepy guys. I simply see thousands of lost, isolated, angry, and fatherless boys experiencing positive connections to very good men.

Men’s Community
Resource Cooperative

I had another dream I'm daring to share here. I dreamed if a man wanted to own a gun or get a license to hunt, in addition to all the needed background checks, safety training, and fees, he’d have to have thirty accumulated days community service through a local Men’s Community Resource Cooperative. Over time, the Cooperative would become a growing repository of male time and energy available for community building.

Men from the Cooperative could be called upon to do things like repair the homes of the elderly, help clean up after disasters, protect problem neighborhoods from violence, help young or even older guys getting out of jail to get established, visit young guys in group homes or juvenile detention facilities, provide support for single mothers, volunteer in schools, and, of course, mentor young males in a thousand different ways. In this way, a prospective gun owner would be able to demonstrate he was a responsible member of his community and worthy of the right to make life and death decisions.

Hey, I can dream!

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October 28, 2012

Fire Circles - Opening the Hearts of Men and Boys

This article is offered by Allan Rudner, a brother in mission, working in Sydney, Australia. It's his personal story about his powerful connection to fire and how he is using it to create new connections between diverse communities of men and boys.

Since boyhood, I have been called to fire. I grew up in South Africa, living half a block from bushland, where I spent many happy hours on my own or with boyhood friends. From time to time, a wildfire would break out and the flames could be seen leaping high into the sky. I remember getting as close to the fire as I could and feeling my heart pounding inside me. I could actually feel the raw wildness and energy of the fire coursing through my veins. In those moments, I was in complete awe and knew I had found my passion!

Now, after working with boys and men in the wilderness for the last twenty years, that passion for fire is back in full force, and its call is powerful. Over the years, my Rites-of-Passage work has always included some relationship to fire. It has always accompanied rituals and ceremonies, signifying the transitions from boyhood to manhood and manhood to Elder. But currently, I’m called to fire circles!

Today, I’m using the timeless and primal notion of The Fire Circle to connect diverse groups of older men with younger men/boys. In these circles, older men take their place as leaders and mentors within the community, and younger men/boys have access to a network of positive male role models. My approach has been carefully crafted to ensure a sense of safety and caring for everyone. Using ritual and ceremony around the sacred fire, men and boys are introduced to respectful and confidential processes for sharing personal stories. The goal is for everyone to have an opportunity to be listened to and to be heard.

After a couple of hours together in a typical fire circle, the group formally closes the space and then retires to an area where food is shared. The impact of the time around the fire is always obvious as the group mingles, talks, laughs and, informally, connects with one another.

From the feedback I've gotten, it is clear The Fire Circle experience is very much appreciated and valued. Here are a just a couple of the (common) comments I get from participants:

"I thought your fire circle was beautifully established and run. It was just the right blend of gentle firm guidance and freedom/space for personal responsibility. I feel that evening living in my body right now. I encountered myself in a new way and with magical universal input. The timing was spot on. It augmented my ability to try to be differently with my son, my brother and father." - RK

"I believe you got the recipe right last evening, around the warmth of the fire and in the spirituality of the Tepee. Twenty-two men, of such varying age and divergent backgrounds, would normally have passed each other by along the path of life with barely a spoken word, perhaps, at best, a nod. By creating a space of safety and oneness of purpose, the differences between all these men were relegated to a position of minor significance. The common desire for personal growth, the sharing and purpose, shone forth in openness and truth. I am enriched for the experience. Thanks." - Ralph

I believe The Fire Circle process is creating a valuable community resource by building more connections between diverse men and strong inter-generational relationships. The Fire Circle creates new roles for older men in our communities, and the youth benefit by being witnessed and accepted as they are by Elder men. In short, it's exciting for me to watch this process building stronger and more cohesive communities.

At the personal level, The Fire Circle is how I find my way to my spiritual home. No sooner do I seat myself around the fire than I feel a flood of peace and alignment, which so often eludes me in the “outside world.” When I see the opened heart of a lad or a man, I feel the energy flowing inside me. When guys "get it," and the tears flow, and their woundedness is shared, my heart melts, and I know I am doing something important. Helping to open men's hearts and seeing them come awake gives me the juice I need to keep going. I believe when a man has an open heart, the world is a better place.

Currently The Fire Circles take place at different venues in and around Sydney, Australia, with a growing interest in hosting them in other areas. If you want to connect with Allan to learn more about his fire circle process, check out his LifeCrating website, or visit The Fire Circle Facebook page. You can also email Allan Rudner directly.

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June 6, 2012

Only Boys Aloud

In the community training programs I offer, I'm always encouraging men to simply take what they love to do and share it with the young males around them. If a couple of men are willing, and have the patience to start small, an open invitation to these interest-based programs will eventually attract other men and young males. I have previously profiled many successful examples of this approach on this blog and in the Man-Making book.

One stellar example of the success of this idea is Only Boys Aloud, or OBA. The short story is it's the result of a few men who like to sing deciding to become man-makers for about 175 young males. Turn up the volume and watch this video. Experience the boys' confidence, pride, and enthusiasm, then read the story below.

Only Boys Aloud (OBA) is a choir made up of approximately 175 young men, aged fourteen to nineteen, from South Wales in the United Kingdom. OBA was founded in May 2010 by the men of the choral group, Only Men Aloud (OMA). The boys are mentored and trained by nine members of OMA and supported by volunteers from their communities. The goal in establishing OBA came out of the desire to, "re-invigorate the Welsh male choral tradition." Their website also states a second goal, to challenge the, "long-held misconceptions about teenage males from South Wales."

To challenge the long-held misconceptions
about teenage males from South Wales.

The boys rehearse weekly in OBA choirs in their local communities. They come from nine different towns across South Wales with names like Cross Hands, Cwmbran, Treorchy, and Caerphilly. They rehearse as individual choirs and then come together to rehearse and perform as a mega-choir at regular intervals.

The very wise men in charge make sure the guys are physically warmed up prior to singing, and they enlisted some very "motivational" girls to lead those warm up exercises. Check out the hot clip on the top right side of the OBA homepage. In the video gallery on the site, you can listen to some of the OBA concerts and even hear some of the individual choirs performing alone.

Only Men Aloud was formed in 2000 as a solid group of men sharing their love of fellowship and music. In just two years of including young males in their passion for music, these men have created an amazing and very vocal young male tribe. Their work with young guys is certainly changing the "long-held misconceptions about teenage males from South Wales," and clearly changing the lives of men, boys, and their communities in the process.

Do you know a boy who'd like to be part of something like Only Boys Aloud? If you're a man, what could you and a couple of your men friends create that might include some young guys? It just might be that easy!

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October 16, 2011

Your iStuff, Steve Jobs, and a Man-Maker

You may not realize it, but you wouldn't have all your Apple iStuff if a very good man hadn't stepped up for Steve Jobs and the boys in his neighborhood!

In the October 6th issue of Computerworld's on-line newsletter there is an interview with Steve Jobs from way back in April of 1995. In the exchange, Steve talks about how his dad, Paul, a machinist, was very gifted working with his hands. He had a workbench in his garage where, when Steve was five or six, he partitioned off a small section of it for Steve. They spent a lot of time together tinkering with things, including some very basic electronics. But it wasn't until his family moved to Silicon Valley that Steve really discovered his passion for electronics and building things, thanks in large part to a man named Larry Lang.

Larry Lang was an engineer at Hewlett-Packard, a ham radio operator, and really into electronics. Here is how Steve describes Larry's unusual introduction to the kids in the hood:

What he did to get to know the kids in the block was rather a strange thing. He put out a carbon microphone and a battery and a speaker on his driveway where you could talk into the microphone and your voice would be amplified by the speaker.

That introduction worked. One man, sharing something he was interested in with the kids in his community, as they say, launched a thousand ships . . . or in Steve's case, lots of iThings. As a result of that initial encounter, Larry and Steve struck up a friendship and this led to Steve being introduced to Heathkits. Steve said, "These Heathkits would come with these detailed manuals about how to put this thing together and all the parts would be laid out in a certain way and color coded. You'd actually build this thing yourself."

Steve's confidence grew as the Heathkit catalog became familiar territory. Out of the time spent building things with Larry, Steve said he learned, ". . . what was inside a finished product and how it worked because it would include a theory of operation." And maybe most importantly Steve got, ". . . a tremendous level of self-confidence, that through exploration and learning one could understand seemingly very complex things in one's environment."

If you ever wanted evidence of the power of a good man to have a positive influence in the life of a boy, and even the world, Steve Jobs' story about Larry Lang is a solid example. Please do realize that you, being just the man you are today, without any special training, could be the Larry in some boy's life. If, like Larry, you find the courage to share yourself and your interests with the boys in your world, who knows the difference you will make.

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

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September 3, 2011

Heroes, Sheroes, and Gospel for Teens

This post is about what I call Heroes and Sheroes. People I hold in high esteem because of the work they do and the stand they have taken for kids. I hope their stories are inspirational and motivational for you.

The first is Mike Patrick, a man I'm so proud to call my friend and easily one of my biggest heroes. Exactly 40 years ago on September 3rd, as Mike says, he was sentenced to the electric chair. Not the kind you find in prison, but a motorized wheelchair. At a high school football game on that evening of September 3, 1971, Mike was tackled and in the process his neck was broken. In that instant, he became a sixteen year old quadriplegic, an athlete unable to walk, and a student unable to even turn the pages of a book.

Mike's very long recovery included surgeries, repeated hospitalizations, and a run in with depression. When he was able, Mike went back to school, got a teaching degree, and set out to change the lives of as many kids on the planet as possible. He rolled into a 26 year career as a professional speaker, teaching young people all across the US to really consider their true potential. His amazing Think About It program helps kids (and adults) overcome obstacles, invites them to creatively solve problems, and to always push through any barriers to being their best. As Mike likes to point out, "The problem is not the issue, the issue is how you deal with the problem." I encourage you to visit Mike's website, and learn more about this remarkable man. I guarantee it will be a day brightener.

It was Mike Patrick who pointed me to the work of Vy Higgenson, a true Sheroe. Vy is lifting up the young people of Harlem, New York through her Gospel for Teens program. She is a solid example of how someone can take a personal passion and shape it into a force for changing the lives of countless young people.

Just below you'll find video clips of two segments from the TV Show, 60 Minutes, profiling Vy and her Gospel for Teens program. Watching, you'll quickly understand why Vy is one of my sheroes. Like Mike Patrick, her story is another eye-dampening, day brightener.

It's easy to be in awe of these people, but be careful not to put them on a pedestal. They both started with limited resources and a powerful passion for what they loved doing. As you watch, consider the fact that you, too, have this same capacity in you. What would Mike or Vy have to say to you about going for it?

Segment One:

If the video for segment ONE doesn't show up, use this link.

Segment Two:

If the video for segment TWO doesn't show up, use this link.

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March 27, 2011

Just One Day for At-Risk Kids

I love the idea that someone could just donate a day, or even part of a day, to help at-risk kids. In the world of people working with that youth population, it's universally hard to get people to step up for one-on-one mentoring or other forms of longer term commitments to kids, especially for boys. The idea of getting lots of people to donate just one day really appeals to me. That's what the folks at Youth Guidance in Chicago are doing.

Youth Guidance has been providing supportive services for at-risk kids in Chicago for a long time . . . 86 years to be exact, and they have a comprehensive menu of services. It's their Donate A Day program that recently caught my attention. As they say about the Donate a Day program, ". . . volunteering no longer needs to be a major sacrifice." In this creative program, an adult or a group can show up for a day to paint a classroom, help with a book drive, or have the staff at Youth Guidance customize a project just for you. They will even come up with a date and time that works for you and/or your group. Because Youth Guidance works with over 70 Chicago schools, there is no shortage of opportunities for involvement on your day of service. Give us a call, they say, and then show up for a day to make a difference in the lives of Chicago’s neediest kids.

What if there was an easy way for everyone, in cities across the country, for elders, adults, or college students, to give a few hours or a day to help make a difference in schools and the lives of at-risk kids? How would that change life in your community?

Now that is a vision that makes my heart sing!

You can visit the Youth Guidance website to learn more about their Donate A Day program. You might even want to consider donating a little chunk of time to a youth-serving organization in your community. It would be a chance for you to "Do Good, Feel Good, and Be Good." I know they are waiting for your call!

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November 4, 2010

International Men's Day this MOvember

Let the celebrations begin!

International Men's Day (IMD) is an annual, international event celebrated on 19th of November. The day was apparently inaugurated in 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago. Another part of the story is that it may be associated with the date in 1863 when Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address, honoring and remembrance of the men who sacrificed their lives during America’s Civil War. What ever it's origins, today the day and it's events are supported by groups in Australia, the Caribbean, North America, Asia, Europe, Africa, and even the United Nations.

The many websites that turn up in a search on IMD have a common message about it's purpose, namely:

To promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and men in sports, but everyday, working men who are living decent, honest lives.
To celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, child care, and to the environment.
To focus on men’s health and well-being; social, emotional, physical and spiritual.
To highlight discrimination against men; in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law.
To improve gender relations and promote gender equality.
To create a safer, better world; where all people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential

Sounds like reasons enough to gather, connect, talk, and celebrate. Check out the many references to IMD on the web. You may find a celebration in your community on the 19th. If not, gather some men friends, honor what's wonderful about being a man, and then collect and donate some cash for prostate cancer research!

Speaking of fundraising . . .

MOVEMBER: No not a typo, Movember is a companion celebration that has become associated with IMD. Movember is a combination of the words Mustache and November, and is the title of an annual month-long event involving the growing of mustaches. The event has been claimed to have been invented in 1999 by group of Australian men from Adelaide.

According to the US Movember website, Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a mustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a mustache for the entire month. The mustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a mustache for 30 days.

Gotta love the moxie these guys have. They actually hold a gala event and award "Moscars" for really good looking facial hair! All to raise money for cancer research in male diseases. Check that out on their site too.

Here is a video showing how one man raised money by getting someone else to shave his "mo!"

If the video isn't visible, you can see it at this link.

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October 15, 2010

The Mentoring Journal

It's not often you hear about an actual "tool," you can use to enhance the quality of the connection between an adult and a young person. That's why I was interested when I learned about the Mentoring Journal. The Journal is the most recently published resource from the Friends for Youth Mentoring Institute. Its a spiral-bound, 122 page, collection of resources for mentors and their mentees. It's currently being used by almost 1,500 mentor/mentee matches in programs around the US. It can also be a valuable publication for anyone who is in a supportive relationship with a young person.

The Mentoring Journal contains lots of activity ideas, stickers, and suggestions for goal-setting in the relationship. There are places for a mentor and a mentee to create a diary or log of their shared experiences, room for photos, and even some guidance for a respectful closure of the match should that be necessary. It's a great way to be more intentional about co-creating your connection, to document the history of your relationship, and capture those special memories that you've shared.

If you want to learn more about how to use the Mentoring Journal in your relationship with a young person, or within a formal mentoring program, Friends for Youth is offering a FREE webinar on Tuesday, October 26, 2010 from 10:00 – 11:30 AM (PDT). Go to this link to learn more about the webinar and to sign up if you're interested.

If you are aware of any other resources that could support someone involved with a formal mentoring relationship, or who just has a young person in their life they are connected to, please tell me about it. I'm happy to share it here.

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