Boys Speak about their Rite of Passage

One of my brother's in mission is Dick Baker, a member of JourneymenUK. It's a group or men providing Rites of Passage Adventure (RoPA) experiences for young men in the United Kingdom. The organization describes their work this way:

Our Rite of Passage Adventure is a transformational weekend for boys aged 14 to 17, offering them the chance to take a bold step towards becoming the kind of man they want to be. The RoPA is a three day event designed to give the boys of our community the challenge and support they need as they begin their journey to adulthood. We model healthy boundaries, creative co-operation, the capacity to transform and embody strong emotions positively and compassionately, and we challenge the boys to face themselves and their future with courage, humor and integrity.

"...we challenge the boys
to face themselves and their future
with courage, humor and integrity."

Here is what Dick said about JourneymenUK's most recent annual RoPA:

We've just returned from our 7th UK RoPA. Thirty-five staff came together to create the conditions for fifteen new JMen (Journeymen) to find something they need within themselves and get seriously blessed along the way. It was, as always, an awesome and awe inspiring weekend.

We had the homecoming last night which was moving and heartfelt – to witness a boy talk about his experience in front of his community, being truly seen and blessed, maybe for the first time, even by a parent, is quite something.

After many years of trying, this year we had a women’s blessing for staff at the RoPA. After a days container building and before the boys arrived, 10 or 12 women showed up and held the men in circle and blessed them – it was a quite extraordinary and moving moment.

Once again I’m left knowing this work does change the world and maybe it is sometimes even a matter of life and death.

The video Dick sent just below is powerful testimony, in the boy's own words, about the impact of this kind of experience during this time in their lives.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

My guess, if you're a man watching this video, you'll have something like one of the following reactions:

• "I'm glad some men are doing something those boys!"
• "I wish I would have had something like that growing up!"
• "I know a kid who could really use an experience like that about now."

The experience of having a group of men help a boy make a positive crossing into manhood is powerful, and sadly still a rarity in most cultures. Today, young males, who are being propelled toward manhood by their body chemistry, are left with self-initiation, finding their own, often twisted path toward becoming a man. Sadly, the results are often tragic for boys, families and our communities.

"I know a kid..."

If you're curious about this form of men's work, or if you have any comments, send me a message. You never know what an inspired man or group of men might create that could change a young man's life.

---

CONTACT EARL: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm also available to help you bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

FACEBOOK SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and not in subscription posts delivered by email.)

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Tweet      Follow @earlh

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email a few times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

© Copyright 2005-2018 Earl Hipp. All Rights Reserved.
Sharing with attribution allowed. All other uses require permission.

Reverse Mentoring - Across the Generations

I've seen it on adventure outings, on Rite of Passage weekend experiences, at a cookout, and in school circles. Everyone is looking down the road of their life and on the lookout for a little guidance. It's a good bet that someone who has travelled the path ahead of you will be the carrier of some helpful wisdom. If you gather males in a pack with a mix of ages, creating a multi-generational male tribe, the right things happen. Boys, teenagers, young men, men, and the elders all have something to learn from each other. In fact, any time caring people connect across the generations a lot of very good things happen.

. . . reverse mentoring,
with youth bearing considerable gifts for the elders.

Recently, I came across an unusual twist on the idea of connecting across the generations. You could think of it as reverse mentoring with youth bearing considerable gifts for the elders. The program is called Cyber-Seniors - Connecting Generations. In their workshops, techno-savvy young people are partnered with a techno-impaired older person, and the exchanges are hilarious, heart-warming, and good for everyone involved.

Here is a short clip about the program taken from their award winning documentary film. You have to love grandma saying, ". . . can you explain a bit about this face . . . something and having to be a friend?"

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

What I really like about this program is how, over the course of the private training by the young person, a lot of important things are shared. Of course, there are all the techno-how to's, but I almost think that's the lesser of the gifts. How about the many elder stories shared, or a young person's esteem boosted as the "teacher." You can see the joy of discovery as the elder students discover the digital world and develop their skills. I know mutual caring was expressed, maybe in techno-patience by the young people. I'm just as certain elder blessings were poured out on the youngsters. In a world where so many family members are distant, a little grandparent/grand kid energy mingled can be a very good thing. And all that's just for starters, and it happens naturally!

Can you think of a way to help our young people connect across the generations? It doesn't have to be a "program." Any organizing principle, from a tire changing class, cooking something, a fishing expedition, building something with tools, or any excuse really is fine. Gather a multi-generational group with some kind of central focus and then just stand back and watch it work. And no, you don't even have to be "friends" to get started!

If you like the Cyber-Seniors idea and want to learn more about their offerings, visit their website. You can learn how to have the full documentary brought to a location near you.

---

SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please TELL SOMEONE! Click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and NOT in email post delivery, sorry.)

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Tweet      Follow @earlh

Rites of Passage for "Tender Warriors"

The Tender Warrior Association (TWA) is a non-profit, group mentoring organization, serving male middle school students, ages 11-14, who are from Maryland, Virginia, or Washington, D.C. TWA is the inspiration of Jeff Robertson, it's Founder and Executive Director. While TWA was incorporated in 2008, Jeff has been on a hero's journey of Man-Making work for the past 20 years. Today, TWA consists of 3 major components, Outdoor Adventure Activities, Ivy League College Tour Program, and a powerful honoring event called the Tribe 7 Ceremony.

Outdoor Adventure Activities: The men and young men meet on the second Saturday of the month for fun and some time for just hanging out. While the activities vary, Jeff believes in getting his young men out into nature as much as possible. On any given Saturday, they may be playing sports, heading out for camping, or hiking. Whatever the activity, there is always time toward the end to circle up for a conversation about some aspect of becoming a man.

The Ivy League College Tour Program: When funds are available, men and the young guys head out to visit new cities and take a look at life on New England college campuses such as Princeton, Harvard, and Yale. Their next college visit will be a guided tour of Dartmouth College, including lunch on campus, and tour of the city of Hanover, New Hampshire. As a bonus, they are hoping to tour NBC studios in downtown New York City. These trips provide the young men with a look at the world beyond their communities and always expand their horizons and view of what's possible.

. . . powerful expressions of
acknowledgement, caring, and blessing
are focused on the young man.

The Tribe 7 Ceremony: The Tribe 7 Ceremony happens early in a boy's involvement with TWA. It's a ceremony in which a young man is witnessed and honored for crossing an important line on his journey toward manhood. The family of each young man is supported in finding 7 men from his circle of extended family, friends, faith community, school, or his neighborhood. These men agree to participate in the ceremony and to support the young man in the days and years ahead. Jeff says in a world where men are often absent in many parts of a boy's life, it's sometimes a big challenge for a family to even find 7 men who will step up. However, when the men are found and the Tribe 7 Ceremony is possible, there are powerful expressions of acknowledgement, caring, and blessing focused on the young man. The boy is always deeply moved as are the men and families participating around the edges of the event.

The video below is just a short segment of a Tribe 7 Ceremony. In it you can actually see the ritual working its magic on everyone. The young man, thirteen-year-old Shariff Levine, is at the center of it all, nervous but beaming. The men, sometimes also feeling a little awkward, each have 2 minutes in which to accept and commit to the role of man-maker in Shariff's life, bless the young man, and present him with a special object to which the man has given special meaning. In the ceremony, each of the candles and the swords has special meaning which is explained to the initiate. They represent values such as strength, passion, determination, courage, confidence, and there is even one for the young man's "unknown potential." As you watch, can you begin to feel the power of what these men are focusing on this one young man?

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

I don't know about you but I was blown away by Jeff giving Shariff a gift of opening a savings account for a college trust fund. It also warmed my male heart to hear the men surrounding Shariff pledge to be there for him as he moves toward manhood. Who among you wouldn't have wanted that in your life as you were entering adolescence?

On September 30th, Jeff Robertson is being honored by the Architect of the Capital for his innovation in creating this group mentoring organization for young boys of color. He is one of my Man-Making heroes and truly deserves all the recognition he gets (and more)! Speaking of more, if you like what Jeff is doing you can donate to his work. The donation request on the TWA website is for $7, but whether it's $7, $70, or $700, you can be sure it will be put right to work setting young men on a positive journey toward manhood. You can reach Jeff at (301) 442-7760 or visit the TWA website at: tenderwarriorjr.org to learn more about their programs.

Trust that you and your men friends
are hardwired . . .for this work . . .

If you are inspired by Jeff's example, gather up some of your men friends and see what you might create for a young man in your world. In addition to Jeff's example and others I've described on this blog, here is a "how to" article describing a passage event I created with some men friends years ago for one of the men's son.

Anything a group of good men
do in support of a young man or group of young men
simply can't fail.

Anything a group of good men do in support of a young man or group of young men simply can't fail. Be prepared for this work to feel a little awkward because it's been so long since this was a normal part of life for men. Trust that you and your men friends are hardwired, deep in your male psyche, for this work and will know the right things to do and say. Be ready to be amazed by the young men's reaction, what happens to your male heart, and the positive reaction from the community around you.

If you have even a little desire to do something and want some guidance, contact me. Right now there is something every man can do in service to young guys. It's time for men to go to work. The boys are waiting and, as men, we do know how to do this!

---

SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and NOT in email post delivery, sorry.)

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Tweet      Follow @earlh

Fire Circles - Opening the Hearts of Men and Boys

This article is offered by Allan Rudner, a brother in mission, working in Sydney, Australia. It's his personal story about his powerful connection to fire and how he is using it to create new connections between diverse communities of men and boys.

---

Since boyhood, I have been called to fire. I grew up in South Africa, living half a block from bushland, where I spent many happy hours on my own or with boyhood friends. From time to time, a wildfire would break out and the flames could be seen leaping high into the sky. I remember getting as close to the fire as I could and feeling my heart pounding inside me. I could actually feel the raw wildness and energy of the fire coursing through my veins. In those moments, I was in complete awe and knew I had found my passion!

Now, after working with boys and men in the wilderness for the last twenty years, that passion for fire is back in full force, and its call is powerful. Over the years, my Rites-of-Passage work has always included some relationship to fire. It has always accompanied rituals and ceremonies, signifying the transitions from boyhood to manhood and manhood to Elder. But currently, I’m called to fire circles!

Today, I’m using the timeless and primal notion of The Fire Circle to connect diverse groups of older men with younger men/boys. In these circles, older men take their place as leaders and mentors within the community, and younger men/boys have access to a network of positive male role models. My approach has been carefully crafted to ensure a sense of safety and caring for everyone. Using ritual and ceremony around the sacred fire, men and boys are introduced to respectful and confidential processes for sharing personal stories. The goal is for everyone to have an opportunity to be listened to and to be heard.

After a couple of hours together in a typical fire circle, the group formally closes the space and then retires to an area where food is shared. The impact of the time around the fire is always obvious as the group mingles, talks, laughs and, informally, connects with one another.

From the feedback I've gotten, it is clear The Fire Circle experience is very much appreciated and valued. Here are a just a couple of the (common) comments I get from participants:

"I thought your fire circle was beautifully established and run. It was just the right blend of gentle firm guidance and freedom/space for personal responsibility. I feel that evening living in my body right now. I encountered myself in a new way and with magical universal input. The timing was spot on. It augmented my ability to try to be differently with my son, my brother and father." - RK

"I believe you got the recipe right last evening, around the warmth of the fire and in the spirituality of the Tepee. Twenty-two men, of such varying age and divergent backgrounds, would normally have passed each other by along the path of life with barely a spoken word, perhaps, at best, a nod. By creating a space of safety and oneness of purpose, the differences between all these men were relegated to a position of minor significance. The common desire for personal growth, the sharing and purpose, shone forth in openness and truth. I am enriched for the experience. Thanks." - Ralph

I believe The Fire Circle process is creating a valuable community resource by building more connections between diverse men and strong inter-generational relationships. The Fire Circle creates new roles for older men in our communities, and the youth benefit by being witnessed and accepted as they are by Elder men. In short, it's exciting for me to watch this process building stronger and more cohesive communities.

At the personal level, The Fire Circle is how I find my way to my spiritual home. No sooner do I seat myself around the fire than I feel a flood of peace and alignment, which so often eludes me in the “outside world.” When I see the opened heart of a lad or a man, I feel the energy flowing inside me. When guys "get it," and the tears flow, and their woundedness is shared, my heart melts, and I know I am doing something important. Helping to open men's hearts and seeing them come awake gives me the juice I need to keep going. I believe when a man has an open heart, the world is a better place.

---

Currently The Fire Circles take place at different venues in and around Sydney, Australia, with a growing interest in hosting them in other areas. If you want to connect with Allan to learn more about his fire circle process, check out his LifeCrating website, or visit The Fire Circle Facebook page. You can also email Allan Rudner directly.

---

LIKE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the "Like" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page!

TWEET:  Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Tweet      Follow @earlh

SUBSCRIBE:  If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

CONTACT:  Send Earl a message.

Ancient Male Rites of Passage

Stop reading for a moment, close your eyes, and try to remember . . . when did you, without question, become a "man?" 

When was that moment in time when you knew, for sure and without doubt, you were now a certified "man?" When did you irrevocably cross the line from boyhood to manhood, accept adult male responsibilities, and thereafter were seen and treated as a man in the eyes of your family, peers, and community?

When I asked this question of men as part of the research for the Man-Making book, some men said it was when they got a license to drive, cast their first vote, or had sex for the first time. Other men said, "when I went into the service," "when I had a child," or "when I got a gun (gang member)." There were a few men who experienced rites of passage in their religious community, in scouting or in a gang. But by far the most common response to that question was, "I'm not sure I am a "man" today!" Most men said they had never definitively crossed a clear or obvious line into manhood and remained uncertain men today.

When I say "uncertain men," I mean these guys were fully functional males in the world today, but they were confused about what attributes define a mature and fully realized man in their society. They were uncertain about the criteria for becoming a man, the achievement path to that goal, if there is one, and not at all clear about how or who will ultimately bestow the blessing of one day having become "a real man."

. . . what attributes define a mature and fully realized man . . .

If uncertainty is a theme for men, consider how hard/impossible it is for adolescent males, without good men around them, to ever feel they been set on a positive path toward a solid manhood. They are being propelled toward manhood by testosterone, a hormone drives them to action, intensity, sexual expression, and the need to constantly test and prove themselves in some way. Without guidance, these natural expressions of young male energy, combined with an underdeveloped capacity for thinking through the consequences of their choices, all too often have terribly tragic consequences. It's why I say we don't so much have a violence problem in our communities, but an epidemic of under-male-nourished boys.

Ancient rites of passage, perfected over thousands of years, were exquisitely designed to get the attention of young males and help them shape their mature masculine identity. Sadly, positive passage experiences for males are hard to come by today, and too many males are left to wander in that never-never land between boyhood and manhood.

Because I believe in intentional man-making, I feel it's critical to acknowledge a young male's passage from the world of boyish things into young adulthood. One of the ways I do that is to work with groups of men who are initiating adolescent males in rite of passage experiences. This work clearly sets boys on a positive journey toward manhood, and lets them know they are supported by men. The second reason for these events is to offer an experience in which men can discover they are indeed hardwired for this work. By initiating young males, men can find answers to some of their lingering questions about what constitutes "a real man." I'll continue to write about this in future posts.

From my research and experiences, I've learned that male rite of passage events, wherever they occur, have some common and important elements. Remember, this template has emerged from thousands of years of man-making experience from cultures across the globe. VERY simply and generally stated, here is a short list:

• A dramatic departure from the women, children, and elders.


• Travel to an unknown (to the initiates) place in a natural setting.


• Arrival in a special men-only location.


• Learning to be accountable to and take direction from the men.


• Deprivation, trials, and testing.


• Acquiring knowledge and masculine skills.


• Serious talk from adult men and respected elders about the responsibilities that define a man.


• Rituals in many aspects of the experience.


• Fires, drumming, and often some expression of wildman energy.


• Being given a new name, bodily markings, clothing, talismans, or tools for the men's world.


• Experiencing a moment in time when you have become, are acknowledged and honored by the men and elders as, a new man.


• With ceremony, ritual, and often feasting, returning to your community and being again celebrated for your new identity.

Just below is a video giving us a look at a day out of a month-long male rite of passage experience from the Palambi Tribe in Papau New Guinea. This not-so-ancient event was filmed in 2007. Read through the list above once more, and then see if you can find those elements in this Palambi passage experience.

If the clip doesn't show up, use this link.

Clearly this example doesn't fit the world most of us inhabit. But it was most likely built on a few hundred years experience with man-making. In 2007, after their month of training and preparation, on returning to their village, these initiates will have no question they have crossed a line into manhood, and that's quite the gift.

If you want to learn how to create a culturally relevant and contemporary rite of passage experience for the boys in your world, give me a shout. I'm happy to be a guide to help create the experience. Along the way, I'll help you and your men friends discover you really are hardwired for this work.

(Check out more questions for men about manhood on the Man-Making website.)

---

LIKE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the "Like" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page!

TWEET:  Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!

Tweet      Follow @earlh

SUBSCRIBE:  If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

CONTACT:  Send Earl a message.

The Men's Calender of Events

Here is a quick update on a couple of notable events on the Men's Calendar, one global and one US based. From where I sit, this kind of movement in the male universe is good for men, young males, and the planet. These two events are just a small sample of what's going on for men. If you are aware of other events you'd like all of us to know about, send me a note and I'll run them up on the occasional post. IF they are coming up soon, feel free to add them to the comment form at the bottom of this post.

---

The first event claims the we're going for it title of, The Ultimate Men's Summit: Activating 21st Century Masculinity (UMS). It will be held this month, from June 10th through the 19th.

The UMS website reads: For this unprecedented virtual event, we are calling forth men from around the world who are boldly committed to lead in a new era - one in which masculine qualities are restored into partnership with the feminine, in which our models of work, family and relationships are ripe for renewal, change and discovery.

If you're a guy, or a woman who's curious about men today, what's not to like about that offering? In yet another display of using technology to form a movement, you can participate in all of the SEVENTY FIVE events from the comfort of your home or your local coffee shop because it's a Virtual Summit!

You and over 10,062 registrants (so far), from 116 countries, can hear from some of the old guard in the men's movement, along with countless other, apparently male-literate experts, on an endless stream of topics such as:

• How to Create and Cultivate 21st Century Relationships
• Five Illusions of Manhood To Get Over - Right Now
• Activate Your Purpose and Fulfill Your Mission in the World
• Knights Without Armor: The Quest for the Courage to Be Vulnerable
• The Paradox of Masculine Power: What Works is Being More Fully Yourself
• The Warrior Spirit - An Ancient Imperative for Modern Man
• Why Every Man Needs to be Initiated by Other Men - and Where to Go to Find It

The amazing thing about the UMS is that it's FREE. All you need to do is register at their online site, and then pick your programs. For registering, you'll also get access to all the presentation recordings for review later. I can't imagine a more dense sampling of content on the current state of the male experience than the UMS. For free, I'm going to give them my name and cherry pick the presentations.

---

USAGE: Developing intentional, energized, and activated male (or any) elders is also a good thing for the whole tribe. That is the work of USAGE or the USA Gathering of Elders. This event is being sponsored by The Mankind Project, USA, and will be held in the center of the US at the Wesley Woods Camp and Retreat Center, in Indianola, Iowa (20 minutes south of Des Moines).

This gathering of the Elders is for ALL elders (men and women) with 50 years or more of life experience. You'll be joining a wonderful group of men and women from a variety of organizations such as Mankind Project International (MKPI) and MKP USA, Elder women from the Woman Within and Women in Power organizations, and men and women from the Sage-ing Guild. All these good people gathered to, "share wisdom and celebrate who we are at this time of our lives."

The agenda includes presentations by Dr. Robert Moore, Distinguished Service Professor of Psychology, Psychoanalysis and Spirituality in the Graduate Center of the Chicago Theological Seminary, and author of many books including, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, and Doug Von Koss, who will lead singing and movement. Rosemary Cox of the Sage-ing Guild will be leading a retreat for women on Friday and Saturday, October 28 & 29, at the nearby Apple Tree Inn. This year men and women will be staying in separate accommodations, and have mostly separate programs. I'm told the Program Planning Team is working on shared programs for women and men on Thursday evening, Saturday evening and on Sunday morning.

To track the evolving program agenda, speakers, and register for the event, check out the USAGE website. For more information on this gathering, contact Allan Podbelsek at apodbelsek@aol.com or call him at 502-245 6248.

---

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

It's easy to have the Man-Making Blog posts appear on your organization's website. Send me a quick message and I'll tell you what it takes to get set up. To see an example of how it might look on your site, check out the blog page on the Man-Making website.

What Grandpa Knew - Learning from the Elders

On Public Radio this morning, I heard an interview with Erin Bried, the author of the new book, How to Build a Fire: And Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew. This is the companion to the author's previous book, How to Sew a Button, a book filled with ideas and teaching from wise grandmas. Here is the link to the Public Radio author interview.

How to Build a Fire, is filled with practical information about skills grandpa learned in the era of post-depression and World War II America. Not all the grandfatherly advice is relevant to today's young guys, but it is a "collection of our grandfathers’ hard-earned wisdom," and some of it is perennial. The topics include skills such as how to:

• buck up and be brave in the face of adversity
• play hard and break in a baseball mitt
• bait a hook and catch a big fish
• look dapper and tie a perfect tie
• get a raise and earn more
• write a love letter and kindle romance
• change a flat tire and save the day
• stand up and give a sparkling toast
• play the harmonica and make your own music

While there are other books that contain these lessons, and certainly a motivated young dude has it all at his fingertips with any search engine, I love the notion of the written transmission of knowledge from grandpa. Boys have learned at the feet of the male elders for centuries, and that's the feeling I get from this book.

Do you have a story of something your grandfather or other elder in your life taught you? Send it to me or add it to the comments of this post.

Do you have a skill you might share with some of the young dudes in your world? At almost any age, you are and elder to a boy somewhere!

---

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

Aboriginal Elder in Norway

My brother in mission, Eivind Figenschau Skjellum in Norway, runs a great site called Masculinity Movies. I like his tag line: Where boys study films to become men. I have profiled him and his site previously in this blog and really recommend a visit. But that is not what this post is about.

Aboriginal Rites of Passage

Eivind recently had a chance to interview Australian elder, Bob Randall. Mr. Randall, affectionately known by many as "Uncle Bob," is a Yankunytjatjara Elder and a traditional owner of Uluru, or Ayer's Rock in Australia. Bob is one of the Stolen Generation of the Aboriginal people, taken from his family at the age of seven. Throughout his life, he has worked as a teacher and leader for Aboriginal land rights, education, community development and cultural awareness. To learn more about Elder Randall, check out his page on the Global Oneness Project site. On that page you can also hear a clip of him singing "Brown Skin Baby (They Took Me Away)," which has become an anthem for the Aboriginal people.

In the video clip below, Eivind is talking with Elder Randall about what Rite of Passage for boys looks like in Aboriginal cultures. What I like so much is the fierceness the initiating Uncles and Elders put into this work. I think you'll find the cultural differences to be quite profound. Listening to this conversation did invite me to take my commitment to man-making more seriously. I'd be interested in your reaction (as a comment to this post).

---

If the video isn't visible, you can see it at this link.

---

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

Grandfather Energy Meets Elder Hunger

At 66, I'm still a little surprised when I notice young males hovering around me. Sometimes it's questions, opinions, or showing me something they have or created. Sometimes it's simply proximity, hanging out in the same space. It's as though they don't really know what they want from me, but are pulled in my direction. I call this experience "Elder Hunger."

The truth is I'm very often late to notice them, and I don't immediately know how to (naturally) respond. Of course they want what I (still) long for, the witness and blessings of being seen and appreciated by older men. I'd say for the last five or so years of my life I've been growing into this Elder role/responsibility, seeing and blessing the young guys, and loving it.

When Paddy Murray, an Elder brother in mission from Bundanoon Australia, sent along an article about men from TOMNET ( Toowoomba Older Men's Network) working with high school kids, and getting a half-million Australian bucks to do it, it made perfect sense to me.

The article from Paddy talks about how these Elder men are helping high risk kids at the Toowoomba South State School with homework, building a school garden together, and sharing communal meals twice a week. Everyone involved loves it and the program has "blossomed" over a very short period of time.

In addition to all the wonderful benefits of what I might call "grandfather energy" meeting "elder hunger," there are some unique benefits for both the kids and the elders. By being together they have found an answer to one of the biggest challenges facing both some of the young and the old . . . isolation.

The article states: "When older men retire, they haven't got work and they feel as though they're not making a contribution, even though yet they have a lot of wisdom and experience. The younger kids feel isolated because many of them have dropped out of mainstream school and have been in trouble or come from difficult backgrounds.

"A lot of programs have been aimed at fixing kids up, and the missing link has been getting the community to take part in that solution. That's what's happening here and the kids feel like they belong to the community and that's what is important."

Getting older men involved with teen boys is a potent man-making strategy, and it doesn't have to cost a half-million to implement. Just get some old dudes together and invite them to "hang out" with some young guys and let the chemistry of Elder hunger and grandfather energy take over. It's actually a very ancient formula.

---

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.