4 Reasons Young Men Hear The Call To Jihad

NOTE: I'll be traveling in Spain for the month of September. In the meantime, here is a popular post from the archive.

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There is a lot of talk in the news today about how young men are being "radicalized" by religious extremists and being seduced into going off to fight wars in foreign lands. It's a sad story to be sure, but it's a very powerful call for young men.

The call to Jihad, at its core, is really the same call young guys hear to join street gangs, to join our military, or even to be on a school sports team. These organizations put out a call to action that matches up perfectly with the psychology and physiology of our adolescent males. What our young guys hear is a call to be a warrior. The surprising thing for me is not that some young men are answering that call, but that even more young men aren't responding to that message.

If we want to prevent our young men from being lost in tragic ways to the warrior call, we have to learn a little about the adolescent male experience, and then come up with alternative activities that really speak to them. Here's a four-item, short course in what I've learned about why our young men are vulnerable to extremist messages or any call to become a warrior.

. . . why our young men are vulnerable
to extremist messages
or any call to become a warrior.

1. The Biological Imperative: From adolescence to around the mid-twenties, young males are biologically vulnerable in at least two ways that set them up for a warrior call to action.

They are experiencing something like seven to ten surges of testosterone a day. Testosterone has been referred to as an aggression hormone, and it causes young males to feel powerful as their muscles are getting stronger and their sexuality is emerging. Testosterone drives a combative nature and hungers for physical activity, testing through competition and physical challenges, to demonstrate skills and prowess. You can see all this working on neighborhood basketball courts or skateboard parks.

The second biological issue is a young male's well researched and poorly wired prefrontal cortex. Simply stated, it's the part of the brain that helps them to think through the consequences of their choices. Sadly, up until the mid-twenties (and possibly beyond), this part of the brain is still under construction and is marginally functional.

If you take this biological picture as a whole, you come up with a very restless young guy, who is feeling powerful beyond reason, who is naturally combative, ready for action, and who isn't thinking clearly about his choices. This combination makes the perfect young warrior.

2. Tribal Nature: Simply stated, guys need a tribe. Men have operated in packs for eons. Look at the fans in any sports stadium. You'll find mostly men, wearing similar colors, and cheering on "their" team. This sense of belonging, membership, and being part of a pack, is very masculine behavior. For the young guys, being part of a tribe, having an identity as a member, is pretty important.

Males also like hierarchies, think of a military or bureaucratic structure. In a hierarchy, the pecking order is clear and a guy's place in the order of things is laid out. Beyond just belonging in a pack, you know your place in the masculine order of things.

Being in a male tribe gives a young man access to the book on manhood. A tribe gives a young man a smorgasbord of men he can look up to for guidance. He's surrounded by masculine role models and men who may teach him important life skills. There may even be a path of testing or ordeals necessary to achieve full membership and acceptance into the group. This is a perfect match with a young man's need for challenges and proving his worthiness.

Tribe = the book on manhood!

Getting blessings from older men and ultimately acceptance into the adult male club, getting a place around the fire, or honored status in the pack, is a big hunger in young men. A Jihadist group, street gang, or football team all meet the young guy hunger for a tribe.

3. Honor, Respect and Contribution: What our young males want is to be seen (at all) and then respected for who they are and for their unique gifts. They want to stand for something, and if it's a good or noble thing all the better. And though you might find it odd, young guys want to contribute, to make a difference, to be in service. After a community service project, I've see young men smile and stand straighter in the sunshine of gratitude expressed by the food shelf staff, habitat house owner, or elder food delivery service.

They want to stand for something. . .

What too many young guys get in our communities today is pressure for invisibility and often no young guy park or guy place to hang out. Their graffiti "art" is criminalized and over-painted as soon as possible. Their appearance is ridiculed and their music often disrespected. They slink around in alleys, the woods, or at the mall trying not to attract negative attention. So if someone offers them honor, respect, and an opportunity to contribute to an important cause, why wouldn't they say "yes."

4. Hope: Too many young men simply don't see any kind of a desirable future. There is little hope for good work, advanced education, or any legal economic success. Without those things, the idea of being a family man, father, provider, husband, are all just distant concepts for other people. So many young men have been fatherless or under-male parented and don't have good role models for any life but the street. Living with chronic hopelessness as the background to your life is sad business and makes angry and resentful young men. If someone shows them a quick path out of that place, and offers some hope of reclaiming self-respect with a few goodies attached, why wouldn't a lost young man choose that path?

There are lots more reasons many of our young men are vulnerable to the call to become a warrior. Whether or not they make good choices is really up to us. What is clear is that our young men need our support, intentional guidance, positive community, and especially good men around them.

When it comes to Jihad, like Ebola, we don't have to wait till the epidemic of under-male-nourished boys is at our door and starts taking even more of our young men from us. We can start acting now. It's not really that hard to do, we just have to be willing.

If you want to talk about what you, your group, or your community can do four young men, give me a shout and let's talk about what we can create. The young guys are waiting and the time is now!

---

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Protecting Our Young Men From The Call To Jihad

There is a lot of talk in the news today about how young men are being "radicalized" by religious extremists and being seduced into going off to fight wars in foreign lands. It's a sad story to be sure, but it's a very powerful call for young men.

The call to Jihad, at its core, is really the same call young guys hear to join street gangs, to join our military, or even to be on a school sports team. These organizations put out a call to action that matches up perfectly with the psychology and physiology of our adolescent males. What our young guys hear is a call to be a warrior. The surprising thing for me is not that some young men are answering that call, but that even more young men aren't responding to that message.

If we want to prevent our young men from being lost in tragic ways to the warrior call, we have to learn a little about the adolescent male experience, and then come up with alternative activities that really speak to them. Here's a four-item, short course in what I've learned about why our young men are vulnerable to extremist messages or any call to become a warrior.

. . . why our young men are vulnerable
to extremist messages
or any call to become a warrior.

1. The Biological Imperative: From adolescence to around the mid-twenties, young males are biologically vulnerable in at least two ways that set them up for a warrior call to action.

They are experiencing something like seven to ten surges of testosterone a day. Testosterone has been referred to as an aggression hormone, and it causes young males to feel powerful as their muscles are getting stronger and their sexuality is emerging. Testosterone drives a combative nature and hungers for physical activity, testing through competition and physical challenges, to demonstrate skills and prowess. You can see all this working on neighborhood basketball courts or skateboard parks.

The second biological issue is a young male's well researched and poorly wired prefrontal cortex. Simply stated, it's the part of the brain that helps them to think through the consequences of their choices. Sadly, up until the mid-twenties (and possibly beyond), this part of the brain is still under construction and is marginally functional.

If you take this biological picture as a whole, you come up with a very restless young guy, who is feeling powerful beyond reason, who is naturally combative, ready for action, and who isn't thinking clearly about his choices. This is the perfect young warrior.

2. Tribal Nature: Simply stated, guys need a tribe. Men have operated in packs for eons. Look at the fans in any sports stadium. You'll find mostly men, wearing similar colors, and cheering on "their" team. This sense of belonging, membership, and being part of a pack, is very masculine behavior. For the young guys, being part of a tribe, having an identity as a member, is pretty important.

Males also like hierarchies, think of a military or bureaucratic structure. In a hierarchy, the pecking order is clear and a guy's place in the order of things is laid out. Beyond just belonging in a pack, you know your place in the masculine order of things.

Being in a male tribe gives a young man access to the book on manhood. A tribe gives a young man a smorgasbord of men he can look up to for guidance. He's surrounded by masculine role models and men who may teach him important life skills. There may even be a path of testing or ordeals necessary to achieve full membership and acceptance into the group. This is a perfect match with a young man's need for challenges and proving his worthiness.

Tribe = the book on manhood!

Getting blessings from older men and ultimately acceptance into the adult male club, getting a place around the fire, or honored status in the pack, is a big hunger in young men. A Jihadist group, street gang, or football team all meet the young guy hunger for a tribe.

3. Honor, Respect and Contribution: What our young males want is to be seen (at all) and then respected for who they are and for their unique gifts. They want to stand for something, and if it's a good or noble thing all the better. And though you might find it odd, young guys want to contribute, to make a difference, to be in service. After a community service project, I've see young men smile and stand straighter in the sunshine of gratitude expressed by the food shelf staff, habitat house owner, or elder food delivery service.

They want to stand for something. . .

What too many young guys get in our communities today is pressure for invisibility and often no young guy park or guy place to hang out. Their graffiti "art" is criminalized and over-painted as soon as possible. Their appearance is ridiculed and their music often disrespected. They slink around in alleys, the woods, or at the mall trying not to attract negative attention. So if someone offers them honor, respect, and an opportunity to contribute to an important cause, why wouldn't they say "yes."

4. Hope: Too many young men simply don't see any kind of a desirable future. There is little hope for good work, advanced education, or any legal economic success. Without those things, the idea of being a family man, father, provider, husband, are all just distant concepts for other people. So many young men have been fatherless or under-male parented and don't have good role models for any life but the street. Living with chronic hopelessness as the background to your life is sad business and makes angry and resentful young men. If someone shows them a quick path out of that place, and offers some hope of reclaiming self-respect with a few goodies attached, why wouldn't a lost young man choose that path?

There are lots more reasons many of our young men are vulnerable to the call to warrior. Whether or not they make good choices is really up to us. What is clear is that our young men need our support, intentional guidance, positive community, and especially good men around them.

When it comes to Jihad, like Ebola, we don't have to wait till the epidemic of under-male-nourished boys is at our door and starts taking even more of our young men from us. We can start acting now. It's not really that hard to do, we just have to be willing.

If you want to talk about what you, your group, or your community can do four young men, give me a shout and let's talk about what we can create. The young guys are waiting and the time is now!

---

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President Obama Speaking Truth to Young Men

In the video clip below, President Obama is talking about the My Brother's Keeper Community Challenge he issued in September of 2014. He is speaking to the progress being made in calling men into service to young males. He describes a very long list of organizations, agencies, cities, and businesses that are all starting initiatives in support of (mostly) young men of color.

The President says America is realizing we won't succeed as a country unless our young people are successful, and that's why he's putting out this call to action. It's a beautiful thing to hear, especially for those of us who've been in man-making work for a long time.

What I liked so much is that he leads with his own very personal story of being a fatherless boy and support he got from his single mother and grandparents. It's a familiar story to those of us in the man-making field, but wonderful example of real vulnerability and hard truth-telling from a very powerful man.

. . . a wonderful example of
real vulnerability and hard truth-telling
from a very powerful man.

In the Question and Answer time, the President continues to tell it like it was when he admits to being a young teen male without direction, other than "misplaced goals" focused on basketball. As he got into high school and even in early college, the President confessed he didn't take his opportunities seriously and was "enjoying myself a little bit too much." I really liked his admission that, with all his privileges, many "second chances," and having access to advanced education, he was still very much a lost young man. That condition didn't change for President Obama until his twenties, when the young male brain starts to get better wired. That is when he started to look toward the future and take himself and his life seriously.

. . . the President confessed he was
"enjoying myself a little bit too much."

You will hear the President answer hard questions, like the one about how he learned to be a good father when he only met his dad once when he was 10. He speaks to the values all parents should teach their kids, and the power of an involved father or, for fatherless young guys, the importance of a caring adult man in a young boy's life.

I think the President Obama modeling truth-telling in this video is inspirational. That and the My Brother's Keeper Community Challenge are great gifts to man-making from the President of the United States.

If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

You wouldn't be reading this at all if you didn't already care about what happens to our young men. If you're already working with some young guys, why not share the video with them and get their reactions. It's a powerful call to positive manhood from a very important place.

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(Updated) Urban Climbers and that Dangerous Teen Brain

I'm often asked by frustrated, sometimes overwhelmed parents, "Why is my teenage guy so (foolish, angry, impulsive, restless, etc.)? If you have a teen male in your life, or work with them in any way, I'm sure you've had the same thoughts and felt the frustration. When it comes to civilized behavior, responsiveness, great decisions, mature conversation, and a stable emotional life from a teenage male, be prepared to wait patiently, for years!

The very short story about the teen brain is if you remove environmental factors, such as parenting deficits, education, community effects, and economics, you're left with the problem of an under-developed pre-frontal cortex. The parts of a young guy's brain that evolve initially are the parts that deal with physical coordination, motivation, and even emotions. It's part of the reason our guys love physical challenges, excitement, competition, and why they get so fired up about winning and crushed when they lose.

Sadly, we really are dealing with
a developmentally disabled person!

Unfortunately for everyone involved, contemporary research tells us the pre-frontal cortex, where good decisions are made, is not fully developed in young males until the mid-twenties. Our young guys are wonderful, funny, and energetic, but the hard truth is their teen brains are just not fully wired when it comes to clear thinking and judgment. Sadly, we really are dealing with a developmentally disabled person! One really good book for parents on the topic is, Why Do They Act That Way?: A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen, by Dr. David Walsh Ph.D.

Below is a video, sent to me by more than one blog reader, each in their own way expressing awe and horror at the degree of foolishness being demonstrated by so many young men. In it you'll hear both young male bravado and their "I can do it" rationalizations. You'll also experience the peer pressure to go extreme which really compounds the danger. In the beginning you'll hear the fears and frustrations of a single mom (with a more fully developed brain) and she tries to understand and cope with her son's behavior. This is a hard video to watch on a whole bunch of levels.

If this clip doesn't show up above use this link.

What's really scary is that this one clip has had over 2.5 million views. The copycat videos by young men seeking to build their urban climbing credentials, and even urban climbing business opportunities, are now proliferating. In the video, what was made clear is the places so many of these young men live, there isn't else much to do. Another way to think about it is there are few other reasonable outlets for this powerful young male energy. The young guys, in a way, have no choice. Their powerful bodily chemistry and rapidly developing physical strength and capabilities are driving them to take challenges and validate the warrior energy they feel. Sadly, they don't yet have a brain capable of thinking through the consequences. As inexplicable as it is to adults, doing these crazy stunts makes perfect sense to them.

This is another example of what's been true about adolescent males for ages. If we don't very intentionally support, guide, and initiate our young men, you can be sure they will find ways to initiate themselves in to their own and often tragic version of manhood. Michael Mead in his book, Men and the Water of Life: Initiation and the Tempering of Men (1993-Harper San Francisco), paraphrased an old tribal proverb, "If the fires that innately burn inside youths are not intentionally and lovingly added to the hearth of community, they will burn down the structures of culture, just to feel the warmth." It means if we don't channel this powerful young male energy, there will increasingly be adolescent-driven chaos in our communities, and too many of them will be jailed or lost just like the urban climbers who have been killed.

On my Man-Making Blog I've written a number of posts on the topic of the adolescent brain. If you go to the blog and enter "brain" in the search box on the right, you find 3 or 4 articles which will point you to other resources. A Google search on teen brain also brings up a lot of great content. One website on the topic I really like is from the National Institute of Mental Health.

As to the more general topic of teen development, the book list on the Man-Making website suggests many books that explore the different forces, physical and environmental, working to shape the lives of our young men for better and worse.

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CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

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Ancient Ball Courts - Young Males - Testosterone and Some Hard Questions

When it comes to young males, there is a good reason the word testosterone starts with the word test! Testosterone is that chemical that starts pumping through young male veins in early adolescence. It's THE man-making substance, and it causes all manner of chaos for the young guys, their families, and the community.

Both men and women produce testosterone, males just make more of it . . . a lot more. Out of our evolutionary history, it's the chemical that helped males to be successful in hunting and combat. If all that wild-boy energy is contained and directed, hunting and combat were very important roles in the life of the community.

Testosterone is known as the aggression drug and during puberty, young men experience 5-7 surges of the chemical per day. This drives all sorts of chaos in their bodies. Generally speaking, young guys will often experience an uncooperative voice, acne, spontaneous and embarrassing erections, hair growth, bigger muscles, major growth spurts in body and limbs, and general confusion about all the changes.

Along with the physical changes comes rolling emotions with mood swings between anger and frustration, sullenness, to a sense of confidence and strength, sexual energy, and feelings of god-like power.

They also have a drive to test themselves, either digitally or in the real world, and in this quest they are often competitive and even combative. Sadly, the flood of testosterone hits a young man at a time when he has less than a fully developed brain (pre-frontal cortex). That's the part that guides complex decision making and the future consequences of their choices. The result is one slightly foolish, physical, and potentially very dangerous creature on your hands. That's where ball courts come in to play.

On a recent trip to northern Arizona, I visited the ruins at the Wupatki National Monument. It has been a cultural crossroads and considered home to a variety of people over many thousands of years. About 800 years ago, it was home to 85-100 people, with several thousand more living within a day’s walk. What caught my attention was a structure I had seen in other parts of Arizona and even in southern Mexico. It was the ball court.

After a little Google research, I discovered there are remains of over 220 ball courts at sites like Wupatki all over the southwest and in other parts of the United States. In addition, there are more than 1,300 ball courts found in Mesoamerica, the region that extends from central Mexico all the way south to Nicaragua, and northern Costa Rica.

The oldest known ball court is approximately 3,400 years old. Some form of the game is believed to have been played by the Olmec, Toltec, Maya, and Aztec. It appears that as soon as they invented rubber, a ball was created, and the game commenced to be part of what was then civilized life. We're still throwing balls through hoops and around fields today.

No one really knows when or where the game got started. There is also no agreement on why the game was played. I think it was testosterone. The book Lord of the Flies, by William Goulding, is about a plane carrying a group of young British boys that crashes on an island in the Pacific Ocean. They commence to create a boy-culture complete with their own clothing, art, language, laws, and young male aggression. We see the same thing happening today with street gangs.

If a culture wasn't at war, and that chemical was pumping the young males full of competitiveness and aggression, you had better find a way to help them burn it off or there will certainly be consequences.

The ancients have long known this fact of young male life and they developed cultural structures, rituals, and ordeals perfectly suited to a testosterone-filled young man. Ball courts and the competitions they inspired must have saved countless lives, channeled wild-boy energy, and gave the young men a ladder of achievement they could follow to be seen and honored by their community. I think the ball court played an important and boy-civilizing role in history.

We still have plenty of ball courts, and wherever there is even minimal equipment, the young guys are still called to them. What seems to be missing is a way to incorporate these places and the heroic young players into an honored place in our communities.

Where is the Young Male Place in your community?

In your world, where can young guys go to burn off energy, engage in friendly competitions, have that kind of fun, and not attract negative attention?

Where can the young guys in your world be seen and honored for their power, physical capacity, creativity, bravery, and willingness to take risks?

If we don't have places like that, what's a young man to do?

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CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

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Stupid Boy Killing and Some Hope

RANT WARNING: OK, I’m sad and pissed off. I’m writing today in a burst of emotion and don’t feel like I want to make sense. I mean the world doesn’t make sense to me right now. So I’m just putting it all out here.

In today’s paper there is a story about a lost seventeen year-old boy who helped mastermind the robbery and unintended killing of his own grandmother, by himself and his boy pack.

Grandma was great. She was a positive force in her neighborhood that helped with mowing, looked after others' houses, and shared her peach crisp recipe. She volunteered at her church and helped with Vacation Bible School. She had played a role in raising her grandson and was a big support to the family after his mom divorced his dad. Grandma was even trying to get her grandson help for his drug use. As the article reported, her grandson and his siblings were “the love of her life.”

The grandson and his teen boy pack of three plotted a robbery, stalked her house, and then broke in. The oldest boy in the pack then cut grandma with a knife and forced her to write him a check for $1500. He then stabbed and strangled her while the grandson played lookout. It’s all stupid, stupid, stupid, horribly tragic, and profoundly sad.

So yes, I’m upset this whole sad drama has come to pass. I’m also sad about the other articles in the same paper describing other stupid young guy’s actions. Shootings as part of the too common, “Lord of the Flies” style gang theater, and reckless driving involving a crash and a death.

We know the pre-frontal cortex in teen male brains is not fully wired. The dudes can’t always think through the long-term consequences of their actions. That’s why dumb but exciting activities somehow make sense to them. In truth, the young guys are handicapped individuals until sometime in their mid-twenties. They deserve our love and some compassion, but they also require our constant attention and guidance. The thing that makes me really angry in the article about the grandson is that again, I got to read the too common adult disclaimer, “I didn’t see it coming at all.” Really, give me a break!

"I didn’t see it coming at all."
Really, give me a break!

Seemingly every day in the press, online, and in the “news,” we are presented with more evidence that too many angry, lost, under-managed young guys, in packs or alone, with access to drugs, who can drive cars or get weapons, are going to find a way to create havoc in their lives, and inflict unbearable pain on their families and in the lives of those in their communities. What the adult is really saying in that brief disclaimer is some version of: “It’s not my fault, I didn’t want to get involved, it’s not my business, someone should have helped that kid, kids these days, I’ve got my own problems,” and, “it’s not my responsibility.” I’m tired of hearing those responses. Those phrases are most often spoken by people whose lives haven’t YET, been messed up by an out of control young male.

As a Man-Making Blog reader, you know my response; it’s, “Do something! Please!” I do what I do with young guys for a lot of reasons, but on top is the fact that I do feel some responsibility and I don’t like these uncomfortable feelings that are the cost of inaction. When I read these sad stories, at least I can say, “I accept some responsibility, I’m glad I’m involved, it IS my business, and I can and do make a difference in the lives of some young men.” What if you and all the other Man-Making Blog readers, and all your men friends felt the same and did something for a kid somewhere? What would that world look like?

In January of this year, I did a Man-Making Blog post about the Continuum of Involvement, from the Man-Making book and my Man-Making trainings. The basic idea is that there is a continuum of action options for those of you who may be willing to do something. It all starts with the smallest of gestures, low personal risk and little time required. Check out that post, and then see if there isn't something you’re willing to do. Or contact me and let’s see what might be possible for you.

I believe they are all “our boys,” I know they need good men (like you) in their lives, and I can promise there is something you can do today to make a difference, maybe THE difference. I'm dedicating my next steps to this kid's grandma.

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CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm interested in your thoughts on man-making. Also, I'm available to work with you to bring the right form of man-making to your community or organziation.

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Puberty Boy - by Geoff Price

Geoff Price is an author and therapist based in Sydney, Australia. He also happens to be a friend of mine and ally of man-makers everywhere. Just one of his solid publications is a book called Puberty Boy. It’s been called ‘rite of passage’ manual for adolescent males. It’s a book designed to help boys, going through a very complicated (and sometimes embarrassing) time in their lives, understand what’s going on and feel good about themselves and their masculinity in the process. It’s a much needed guide for boys, helping with all the questions surrounding the transition from being a boy to becoming a young man.

Geoff is described as a man who, for the last two decades, has been working to improve the health and well-being of men and boys. Because he is a very boy-literate guide, the book is written in boy-friendly language, with lots of helpful stories. It offers much needed and accurate anatomical information and illustrations, and covers not only physical changes, but new research on brain development at puberty every boy undergoes. One of my favorite charts in the book describes the changes in a young male’s body as he is propelled by his internal chemistry.

You can learn more about Puberty Boy at Geoff’s website. If you’re in or near Australia, you can order the book directly from Geoff. For US readers, the book is available at Amazon.com.

While you’re visiting Geoff’s website, check out his newest book, “What They Don’t Teach Men About Themselves.” You can quickly download the e-book and immediately begin increasing your male literacy.

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Beautiful (and Confusing) Teen Brains

In his recent article in the October 2011 issue of National Geographic magazine, David Dobbs says, through brain imaging available today, we can now get a literal picture of how brains work. We can actually watch the gradual development of the human brain from 12 years old until the mid-twenties when adult functioning begins to emerge. He offers us a wonderful and mostly understandable description of how the human brain increases in complexity with age. How, in time, that evolution in brain wiring results in what we might call maturity and the ability to better sort, balance and prioritize all the competing agendas, internal drives, rules, peer pressure, and stimuli a teen is faced with every day, and make reasoned choices. These are exactly the kind of choices that seem to escape so many of today’s teens.

I love how Dobbs lays out what is at the heart of much adult frustration with teenagers. He says, “These studies help explain why teens behave with such vexing inconsistency: beguiling at breakfast, disgusting at dinner; masterful on Monday, sleepwalking on Saturday.” It also explains why teens persist in doing what adults consider foolish things!

The article gives a very detailed description of why teens are so drawn to experiences of risk, novelty, and excitement, and why they are so drawn to value the company of their peers above that of parents or other adults. It is also one of the few descriptions that offers upside explanations as to why natural selection hasn't resulted in the elimination of the foolishness of adolescents.

We know that teens love excitement. Young humans seek risk more aggressively as teens than at any other age. Most adult males I know have a catalog of stupid things they did as teens and sad tales of the consequences. There are always narrow escapes, bizarre escapades, and foolish adventures that seem funny in retrospect but many of which might have resulted in death. Among the most frightening is the statistic that one in three teen deaths is from car crashes, many involving alcohol. This sad reality is clearly reflected in the automobile insurance rates charged for adolescent males wanting to drive. Testosterone, the love of a thrill and risk taking don’t mix well with easy access to alcohol and cars.

. . . virtually all the world's cultures recognize adolescence
as a distinct period in which adolescents
prefer novelty, excitement, and peers.

In so many ways, our teens, with their poorly wired brains, hunger for sensation, risk, novelty, and excitement, need our compassion, not our shaming expressions of frustration. They need our understanding, and then, most importantly, they need guidance, limits setting, role modeling . . . they need caring adults around to play the role of their underdeveloped frontal cortex. They need a caring adult in their lives to consistently set the limits they are not able to yet grasp or form for themselves. As David Dobbs puts it, “Studies show that when parents engage and guide their teens with a light but steady hand, staying connected but allowing independence, their kids generally do much better in life.”

At this link, you can hear a recent National Public Radio program on this topic. It included David Dobbs, and two brain researchers: BJ Casey, a Professor and Director of the Sackler Institute at Weill Medical College of Cornell University, and National Institute of Mental Health neuroscientist, Dr. Jay Giedd.

In the video clip below, Dr. Giedd describes how current technologies, including social media, are impacting the brains of today’s teens. He calls teenagers today, digital natives, kids who have never know a time without technology. He believes that for all of the information available to them today, one of the most powerful ways to influence them is by solid and positive adult role modeling.

If the clip doesn't show up, use this link.

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The Demise of Guys (and a Naked Jennifer Lopez?)

In the TED video below, Psychologist Philip Zimbardo asks, "Why are boys struggling?" Clearly, our young males are struggling on a number of scales mentioned by Mr. Zimbardo. However, I can't bring myself to agree with his diagnosis of the problem. Mr. Zimbardo says it's due to fear of intimacy, social shyness, and being unable to use, "the language of face contact." His term for this issue is, "Social Intensity Syndrome." Apparently it explains why guys prefer male bonding over "female mating." Using a logic I couldn't quite follow, according to Philip, Social Intensity Syndrome somehow explains why guys prefer to be with their buddies watching football on Superbowl Sunday than watching a naked Jennifer Lopez in a film. You'll have to listen to the clip below to see if you can understand that train of thought.

He does us all a service, however, in being another voice raising the issue of too much time spent by adolescent males in the two-dimensional world of the internet. He quotes data from Jane McGonigal, which claims, by age 21, boys have spent 10,000 hours playing internet games, with two-thirds of that time being in isolation. He also quotes Cindy Gallop, who believes as a result of adolescent boys watching 50+ porn clips a week, we are creating men who don't know the difference between making love and doing porn.

I don't agree boy shyness, their comfort being in a male pack, and love of watching any competition in which objects are flying through space is a new "syndrome." I also don't think young males having a vivid sexual fantasy life is in any way new or abnormal. In fact, I think those tendencies are all a natural and direct result of having a male brain and eons of accumulated masculine experience. The danger I do agree with is how the internet can put a powerful magnifying glass on those natural tendencies and ramp up their intensity for better and worse.

I do like that, in this TED video and many other places, there is a larger discussion taking place about how young male brains are being shaped in powerful and unhealthy ways by seductive and targeted digital media, designed to play on normal adolescent drives. Discussions about the issues of destructive media influences or technology-addicted kids need to happen. Those in the business of man-making for young guys, including parents, relatives, and men who want to show up as positive role models, all need to be able to discuss and offer reasonable guidelines to the magnetic draw of the digital universe. Actually being great role models, when it comes to technology use, is a great first step.

A quick internet search on media addiction and boys will turn up countless resources to help us all increase our techno-literacy in relation to our boys. I'll be reviewing some of the resources on this topic in future posts, but give this 5 minute clip by Mr. Zimbardo a listen and see what comes up for you.

If the clip isn't visible use this link.

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That Frustrating Teen Brain

While you may have heard about some of the research regarding the development of the adolescent brain, the folks at the MIT Young Adult Development Project are collecting the research data in one place for us.

On their website you can learn about how the adolescent brain develops from back to front. That means that the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for judgment, managing emotions, and complex thinking, doesn’t fully develop until the mid-twenties.

As the MIT-YADP people describe it, young adults have “. . . a kind of mental "visor" that screens out some kinds of phenomena while letting in others for consideration. As development unfolds, one can "see" and think about more and more complex phenomena such as abstractions, relationships, and moral problems, and offering more and more powerful thinking tools.”

As a number of researchers have suggested, the insurance and rental car companies have it right. The teen brain isn't fully mature at 16, when they are allowed to drive, or at 18, when they are allowed to vote, or at 21, when they are allowed to drink. In fact, it's not fully wired until they are closer to 25, when they are allowed to rent a car and their insurance rates begin to get reasonable.

Visit the MIT Young Adult Development Project website for a great short-course on the young male brain. It will explain a lot about teen behavior and maybe replace some frustration at their choices with understanding and even compassion.