MAN-MAKING BLOG

June 7, 2011

The Men's Calender of Events

Here is a quick update on a couple of notable events on the Men's Calendar, one global and one US based. From where I sit, this kind of movement in the male universe is good for men, young males, and the planet. These two events are just a small sample of what's going on for men. If you are aware of other events you'd like all of us to know about, send me a note and I'll run them up on the occasional post. IF they are coming up soon, feel free to add them to the comment form at the bottom of this post.

The first event claims the we're going for it title of, The Ultimate Men's Summit: Activating 21st Century Masculinity (UMS). It will be held this month, from June 10th through the 19th.

The UMS website reads: For this unprecedented virtual event, we are calling forth men from around the world who are boldly committed to lead in a new era - one in which masculine qualities are restored into partnership with the feminine, in which our models of work, family and relationships are ripe for renewal, change and discovery.

If you're a guy, or a woman who's curious about men today, what's not to like about that offering? In yet another display of using technology to form a movement, you can participate in all of the SEVENTY FIVE events from the comfort of your home or your local coffee shop because it's a Virtual Summit!

You and over 10,062 registrants (so far), from 116 countries, can hear from some of the old guard in the men's movement, along with countless other, apparently male-literate experts, on an endless stream of topics such as:

How to Create and Cultivate 21st Century Relationships
Five Illusions of Manhood To Get Over - Right Now
Activate Your Purpose and Fulfill Your Mission in the World
Knights Without Armor: The Quest for the Courage to Be Vulnerable
The Paradox of Masculine Power: What Works is Being More Fully Yourself
The Warrior Spirit - An Ancient Imperative for Modern Man
Why Every Man Needs to be Initiated by Other Men - and Where to Go to Find It

The amazing thing about the UMS is that it's FREE. All you need to do is register at their online site, and then pick your programs. For registering, you'll also get access to all the presentation recordings for review later. I can't imagine a more dense sampling of content on the current state of the male experience than the UMS. For free, I'm going to give them my name and cherry pick the presentations.

USAGE: Developing intentional, energized, and activated male (or any) elders is also a good thing for the whole tribe. That is the work of USAGE or the USA Gathering of Elders. This event is being sponsored by The Mankind Project, USA, and will be held in the center of the US at the Wesley Woods Camp and Retreat Center, in Indianola, Iowa (20 minutes south of Des Moines).

This gathering of the Elders is for ALL elders (men and women) with 50 years or more of life experience. You'll be joining a wonderful group of men and women from a variety of organizations such as Mankind Project International (MKPI) and MKP USA, Elder women from the Woman Within and Women in Power organizations, and men and women from the Sage-ing Guild. All these good people gathered to, "share wisdom and celebrate who we are at this time of our lives."

The agenda includes presentations by Dr. Robert Moore, Distinguished Service Professor of Psychology, Psychoanalysis and Spirituality in the Graduate Center of the Chicago Theological Seminary, and author of many books including, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, and Doug Von Koss, who will lead singing and movement. Rosemary Cox of the Sage-ing Guild will be leading a retreat for women on Friday and Saturday, October 28 & 29, at the nearby Apple Tree Inn. This year men and women will be staying in separate accommodations, and have mostly separate programs. I'm told the Program Planning Team is working on shared programs for women and men on Thursday evening, Saturday evening and on Sunday morning.

To track the evolving program agenda, speakers, and register for the event, check out the USAGE website. For more information on this gathering, contact Allan Podbelsek at apodbelsek@aol.com or call him at 502-245 6248.

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May 27, 2011

Only If You Care about Our Boys

If you care about boys of any age, you have to take a look at the Boys Project website. Among other topics, it clearly paints the picture of a "boy crisis" in which boys are being brutalized by an educational system simply not suited to who they are . . . young males! The Boys Project offers us a powerful a statement of this tragic epidemic presented in statistics such as:

For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and secondary schools 250 boys are suspended.
For every 100 girls expelled from public elementary and secondary schools 335 boys are expelled.
For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability 276 boys are diagnosed with a learning disability.
For every 100 girls diagnosed with emotional disturbance 324 boys are diagnosed with emotional disturbance.
For every 100 tenth grade girls who play video or computer games one or more hours per day 322 boys play video or computer games one or more hours per day.
For every 100 women enrolled in college there are 77 men enrolled.
For every 100 American women who earn a bachelor's degree from college 73 American men earn a bachelor's degree.
For every 100 American women who earn a master's degree from college 62 American men earn the same degree.

The data go on to describe other mental health, disability, and incarceration numbers for boys that are also unsettling. Try these on:

For every 100 females ages 15 to 19 that commit suicide 549 males in the same range kill themselves.
For every 100 girls with multiple disabilities 189 boys have multiple disabilities.
For every 100 girls ages 15 to 17 in correctional facilities there are 837 boys behind bars.

Tom Mortenson, the man responsible for this collection of data, is a Higher Education Policy Analyst at The Pell Institute for the Study of Opportunity in Higher Education. He first drew public attention to the gender gap in post-secondary education and was the first to point out the need for a Boys Project.

The goals of the Boys Project are:

1. Showcase colleges, schools, teachers, and organizations that have succeeded in engaging young men, increasing their academic success, and developing drive and ambition.

2. Educate families, educators and the public about the challenges our young boys are facing.

3. Develop federal, state, and foundation initiatives that support relevant research and necessary legislative change.

We all want to live in a world that gives all of our children the best possible chance to express their giftedness, regardless of gender. But it's is critical that there are organizations like the Boys Project whose purpose is to help boys become successful men. I'm happy to support this initiative, and if you care about what's happening to our boys check out the Boys Project website.

May 9, 2011

One In Three are Male Victims of Family Violence

In a recent blog post titled Boys, Bulldogs, and Never Surrender!, by guest blogger Tim Wernette, the topic of gender stereotyping came up. That prompted a comment by Brian M., a subscriber in Australia. Brian pointed out,

One of the key things that has to be done . . . is to enlighten the community that it’s not just men who commit violence against women. Women violate men, women act against women, and men against men. Violence is illegal and bad regardless of whoever does it, and male victims are no less deserving of our sympathy and support than female victims.

Brian noted that 1 in 3 victims of domestic violence is a male, and in most cases it is a female perpetrator. He suggested we explore the rather amazing data on the One in Three Campaign website. For example, The Australian Bureau of Statistics Personal Safety Survey (2006) produced the largest and most recent study of violence in Australia. It discovered:

29.8% (almost one in three) victims of current partner violence since the age of 15 were male
24.4% (almost one in four) victims of previous partner violence since the age of 15 were male
29.4% (almost one in three) victims of sexual assault* during the last 12 months were male
26.1% (more than one in four) victims of sexual abuse* before the age of 15 were male

Be very clear, the One in Three Campaign is not in the business of excusing male perpetrators. Their position, often stated on their site is, "For decades well-meaning governments and NGO's have presented the myth to the public that family violence is only something that men do to women. This message has prevented the development of more comprehensive policies, programs, services, campaigns and funding to cater for male as well as female victims of family violence and abuse."

The site references research, offers eye-opening men's stories of victimization, a page on Misinformation, links to Australian and a series of podcasts covering the Intimate Partner Abuse of Men Workshop held in June of 2010 in Perth, Western Australia. While noting that, "Unfortunately there aren't many tailored services and resources available for male victims of family violence and abuse," they list a solid collection of links and contact information for known support services in Australia and internationally. There is also a section of recommended reading for male victims.

If you want to support men, women, and children caught up in domestic violence, while enlarging your concept of family violence in all its ugly forms, a quick tour of One in Three Campaign website will likely be a healthy wake up call.

In the USA, one of many good sources for emergency contacts for victims of family violence is StopFamilyViolence.org. They maintain a list of helpful and support contacts for anyone experiencing some form of family violence.

If you know of a good resource to help victims of family violence in your part of the world, please list it in the comments section of this post, or send me a note and I'll add it to the post.

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

It's easy to have Man-Making Blog posts appear on your organization's website. Send me a quick message and I'll tell you what it takes to get set up. To see an example of how it might look on your site, check out the blog page on the Man-Making website.

April 29, 2011

That Clumsy Teen Brain

Do you remember being clumsy as a teen? When you were growing so fast you didn't know what your various body parts were going to look like this week. Then there was the additional challenge of trying to get them to all move in the right direction together at the same time.

In the Man-Making book, Steve, a man now in his forty's described what it was like to endure the painful experience of adolescent clumsiness:

When I began 9th grade in September of 1962 I was 5'6" tall and weighed less than 100 pounds. By the June graduation from junior high school, I had grown to 6'1", weighing only fifteen pounds more. I recall walking into English class one day, and for no discernible reason, I just fell over. No one pushed me, I did not trip on something, as best as I can recall, I just fell over.

I apparently collapsed under the weight of my growing bones. As I lay on the floor trying to disentangle myself from my own limbs, I could hear my classmates and teacher howl in laughter. Tears burned my eyes as I righted myself and slunk toward the way-to-small desk in the last row. It was a year full of pain and embarrassment.

The title of an article in a recent issue of the NY Times, Health section asks, Are Gawky Adolescents More Injury Prone? Parents of teens everywhere have felt the correct answer is a resounding yes, but it turns out that notion has been hard to prove... until now.

The Times article quotes research from The British Journal of Sports Medicine claiming that the teenage awkward phase is not just about hormones and the growing and changing body, but also that under-developed teen brain. Researchers studied the complex responses and many different parts of the brain involved as adolescents and adults manage and position their bodies. Apparently, while we adults have the luxury of relying on, "the more sophisticated cortical regions of the brain to direct and integrate movements . . .," the parts of the brain that control body movements through space are not yet fully formed for teens.

So the research is in! Tripping over your feet as a teen is pretty normal! The Times article even offers up a test you can try with your teen to see if they've hit that, "gawky phase."

If you have an awkward teen at home, you can now, with science behind you, assure them that they will indeed pass through these trying times and eventually get control of themselves. In the meantime however, they should be a little careful!

Do you have a story about a moment in time when you felt physically "gawky," uncoordinated, or mad at your growing/changing body. Send it along or put it in the comments section of this post.

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.

April 25, 2011

Boys, Bulldogs, and Never Surrender!

Guest Blogger, Tim Wernette, is a Gender Equity Educational Specialist with the University of Arizona. He speaks most often to high school audiences in the hopes of changing the destructive aspects of gender stereotypes overlaid on young boys and girls these days. Here he tells how he was deeply moved at one High School assembly.

Earl, I want to share a powerful experience I recently had at Kingman High School in north-western Arizona. I think it will be relevant to the readers of your Man-Making Blog.

I had been invited to participate in a morning school assembly program for 500 students. The program addressed a variety of violence issues. My presentation on sexual harassment prevention was first. It was followed by a police officer and a District Attorney discussing legal aspects of domestic violence/sexual assault, and the cycle of violence (honeymoon, tension, violence, honeymoon...) in relationships. After that presentation a young woman in her 30's spoke about surviving a violent relationship and her sister being killed by her abusive husband (who then committed suicide). Finally, a young woman who survived an abusive relationship sang songs about her experience of abuse. It was an amazing program and I was quite moved by all the stories.

At the end of the program all of the presenters came back on stage and answered questions from the students. As the event was coming to a close, I requested some time to end with a few comments. I told the students I wanted to share something very personal with them, and waited until they were quiet.

I told them I sat in the back of the auditorium and cried when I listened to the woman talk about losing her sister to domestic violence. I told them how incredibly sad/broken-hearted and angry I am that there is so much violence in our society. I said I feel it’s tragic that as a country, we imprison more people than any other country. I explained I was angry our country spends more money on our military and wars than the next 8-10 similarly sized countries combined. I said it embarrasses me to live in one of the most violent, gun-toting countries in the world, and that we are surrounded by so much violence of all kinds we almost take it for granted.

"No Fear" and "Never Surrender."

I challenged them to think about the gender stereotyping that encourages young men to be aggressive, controlling, and violent, while encouraging young women to be sexy, passive and to accept abusive relationships. I shared with them my reaction to the back of a student's t-shirt I had seen that morning in the school with the school’s mascot the bulldog and the words, "Bulldog's Laws,” "No Fear" and "Never Surrender." I asked the students to think about what that teaches boys and young men about being a man.

I told them that I had never met Amy's brother-in-law (who killed her sister and committed suicide), but in a way, I knew him well. Like so many boys and men who have been taught to be tough and never express feelings or appear vulnerable, beneath his anger and violence was a scared little boy who feared losing his wife (she had filed for divorce), and was scared about how to live without her, yet had no way to communicate what he felt. I told them that all of us, boys and girls, women and men, are victims of these gender stereotypes. I invited them to examine the impact of these stereotypes on their lives and perhaps reconsider what kind of woman and man they wanted to become.

In that assembly, I hope I was able to give permission to boys and girls to express the full range of who they are as people. The challenge of combating the powerful influences of gender stereotypes has to be everyone's work. We’ve lost enough young people to violence in all forms.

You can respond to Tim by email at timwernette@msn.com.

If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, go to this link for a free subscription.