The Man-Making Blog is a practical and inspirational resource
for people interested in supporting our young males
on their journey to manhood.

September 24, 2012

Wild Boys, Wilderness, and Woodcraft Rangers


After the recent blog post with a discussion of boys and Nature Deficit Disorder (NDD), Tim Wernette, a regular Man-Making Blog contributor, emailed me about Woodcraft Indians. In my research into that organization, I learned a lot more about the history of NDD. I also learned how, in the early 1900’s, one man's attempt to do something about boys and NDD resulted in the formation of the Boy Scouts, the Brownies, and the creation of a multitude of other organizations that are still helping kids a hundred years later.

The man was Ernest Thompson Seton. The full name for the organization he started was The League of Woodcraft Indians because they borrowed heavily from Native American culture, and their goal was to get young males into the woods.  The organization was clearly for non-Indians, but it was very successful in getting American boys into the wilderness.

The first U.S. Woodcraft Tribe was set up in 1902. It was a direct result of Mr. Seton’s property being vandalized by neighborhood boys. As the story goes, after numerous repairs to his property, Mr. Seton went to the local school. Instead of looking to punish the young vandals, he invited them to a weekend campout on his property. During this time he told them about Native Americans and their connection to nature. He spoke about Native American language, lore, and culture. He taught them some basic wilderness skills, and I’ll bet some time was spent sitting around a fire and telling exciting stories of the then not-so-old west.

Out of this one weekend experience, The League of Woodcraft Indians evolved, and soon there were Woodcraft groups all across the United States. If you want to read a complete and detailed operating manual for a Woodcraft Indian group, take a look at Seton’s Birch Bark Roll (PDF document from the New York Public Library or this online version.)

If you don’t worry about political correctness and can allow for the era in which it was written, the Birch Bark Roll, in amazing detail, lays out the perfect template for a boy-literate organization. It describes the organizational structure with Native American names for the various positions. I especially love the chapters on, The Child Spirit of Woodcraft, Twelve Secrets of the Woods, Tribe and Council Activities (games), and even songs to sing around the campfire. Songs have titles like, Zuni Sunset Song, Ghost Dance Song, and a blessing song called, Prayer of the Warriors Before Smoking the Pipe, all with sheet music included!

While the details are complicated, in 1910, Mr. Seton, along with Daniel Beard, the man who had started The Sons of Daniel Boone, were instrumental in the founding of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA). Seton became the Chief Scout of the organization for its first five years. Because of disagreements about the more militaristic direction Seton felt Scouting was moving, he left the BSA in 1915 and re-established the Woodcraft Indians separately. Later he renamed his organization The Woodcraft League of America, and claimed he never really merged the group into the BSA.

Today, there are still Woodcrafters who are active in the movement. One of the better known groups in the U.S. might be the Woodcraft Rangers in Los Angeles, California. Established in 1922, this group modified Seton’s original emphasis on outdoor life and is working to support urban Los Angeles kids. Currently, the Woodcraft Rangers serves over 18,000 underprivileged youth annually in after-school and summer camping programs.

If you want to know more about the large and rather amazing web of international organizations launched by one man’s interest in what we now call Nature Deficit Disorder, and his willingness to show up for the boys in his hood, just do a Google search for Woodcraft Indians. The result of that search takes my breath away, but then I just love the, What One Man Can Do, stories.



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September 16, 2012

LAAMB-ing and not FRAP-ing Boys

Vacation: Because I'm on a vacation trip to Switzerland and France until the end of September, I'm taking the easy route and publishing a few favorite posts (mine and yours) from the history of this Blog. Enjoy!



Out of the Boys to Men network has come a beautifully simple job description for a man mentoring a boy or boys. It's called LAMMB-ing. It stands for Listen, Accept, Admire, Model, and Bless. It's something most men can do without much effort. The hope is, in addition to the quality of connection that results, this prescription will eliminate some of the fears so many men carry preventing them from showing up for young males. Like the too common fear, "Who I am and what I know is not sufficient to be a man-maker for a boy."

As I write this I'm having the feeling I too would like to be LAMMB-ed more often. Even in my elderhood, I still hunger for men in my life who will listen to me without judgment, regularly admire my gifts, model behaviors I can learn from and absorb, and who will drop the occasional blessing on me. Who of you reading this wouldn't feel safe, cared for, and blossom in that kind of relationship?

In addition to the "to do" list inherent in LAMMB, two of my man-making heroes, Edoardo Lippolis and Collin Irish at Threshold Passages, Inc., have added another acronym that takes the art of man-making up a notch. It's the very intentional avoidance of FRAP-ing young males.

FRAP stands for Fixing, Rescuing, Advising (unsolicited), and Projecting. In general, these are behaviors man-makers try to avoid. The goal is to create an environment in which LAAMB-ing can regularly and frequently occur, and where FRAP-ing is avoided.

In my experience, there is real danger when a man feels compelled to direct a young male's path through life with some form of FRAP-ing. The latter problem shows up most often when the young man is making poor choices. Those behaviors call up the latent parent, therapist, cop, or all those other potentially inappropriate and possibly damaging roles men can play. The temptation, of course, is to be seen as all knowing by having all the young man's answers, even if you have to make up something to sound smart. Men never do that . . . right?

To avoid FRAP-ing someone, the men at TPI suggest waiting until the young male is "soliciting advice of his own volition." When that happens, and IF the man really does have solid information, he can share it with the young man. If he does not have solid information, he points the lad to someone who does. Not only does this keep the relationship comfortable for everyone, it gives a man the opportunity to model humility and the importance of asking others for help.

While each element of LAAMB and FRAP could be a short course all to itself, taken literally and applied, they provide a simple formula for safety and trust in any relationship.

If you want to know more about LAAMB-ing, FRAP-ing, and training for the men in your organization to work with young guys, contact me. You can also download a PDF of this post describing LAAMB-ing and FRAP-ing in a little more detail.

If you want to know more about the Rites of Passage Adventure Weekend being offered by the men at Threshold Passages (and see a sweet video clip of their weekend), check out their website at: thresholdpassages.org/.

And then why not start LAMMB-ing the boys
that cross your path . . . starting today?



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September 7, 2012

A Year-Long, Rite of Passage for Boys

Vacation: Because I'm on a vacation trip to Switzerland and France until the end of September, I'm taking the easy route and publishing a few favorite posts (mine and yours) from the history of this Blog. Enjoy!


When I speak to groups of men working with boys, whether it's in mentoring organizations, at churches or conferences, or just groups of men who want to do something for adolescent males, there is always the question of what to do with them. Often, the path that question takes is, how do we keep these young guys entertained? While I think that's a fair question to ask, and indeed some fun is important, I think if a young male is on the brink of manhood, it misses the mark a little.

I feel that mixed in with some boy fun, there should be serious lessons about manhood and an opportunity to talk with men about the big issues in a kid's life. A few youth-serving organizations approach that challenge head on, but from my experience, it seems to me that too many of them leave the most important training to chance.

I'd like to propose the creation of a year-long form of introduction to manhood. A series of activities that guarantee boys are exposed to some of the important questions, issues, skills, and lessons about the manhood.

I'm suggesting a monthly outing, circle, lesson, or event for boys and men, followed by a group discussion about what happened and to help the boys process their experience. I'm trying to stir your thinking here. Consider the impact of these kinds of experiences on the psyche of an adolescent male:

  • A visit to a jail or prison.

  • Work for a day on a Habitat for Humanity home build.

  • Go to a stockyard where animals are butchered.

  • Go rock climbing, hiking, try a high ropes course, or go camping.

  • Visit the local firehouse, learning about the gear, skills, and hearing stories.

  • Have a conversation with residents at a battered women's shelter, or hear from a GLBT person.

  • Visit a Veteran's hospital and talk with injured vets.

  • Learn how to wire a lamp, fix a toilet, change a tire, or grill a steak.

  • Help out for a few hours at a nursing home, possibly serving a meal.

  • Job shadowing - go to work with a man for a day or part of a day to learn what men do.

  • Hear from women recovering from being prostitutes.

  • Feed people at a homeless shelter.

  • Spending a weekend night at the police station.

  • Play paintball . . . after a discussion from a veteran about the realities of war.

  • Hear a personal story from someone who attends Alcoholics Anonymous or Debtors Anonymous.

You get the idea, and I'm sure you have ideas you could add. I'm certain when these experiences are processed in a multi-generational group of males, powerful discussions about life, manhood, profession, relationship to women, and personal responsibility would result. I'm just as certain all the males would benefit enormously.

After a year or so of these experiences, some opportunities for fun, and directly and indirectly learning from men across the discussion circle, I think an adolescent male would really be ready for some form of rite of passage or crossing into manhood celebration or ceremony.

What do you think?

What activities would you add to the list?

How would your life be different today if, as an adolescent, you had been surrounded by good men with the focused intention to teach you about life and the journey toward a positive manhood?


Share your thoughts on this post in the "comments" section below or send me an email message.

Perhaps most importantly, consider sending this along to a man or men you know and whom you feel might be interested in this idea. A few men and boys from your neighborhood or community is all it would take to get started.




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September 1, 2012

Ancient Male Rites of Passage

Stop reading for a moment, close your eyes, and try to remember . . . when did you, without question, become a "man?" 
When was that moment in time when you knew, for sure and without doubt, you were now a certified "man?" When did you irrevocably cross the line from boyhood to manhood, accept adult male responsibilities, and thereafter were seen and treated as a man in the eyes of your family, peers, and community?

When I asked this question of men as part of the research for the Man-Making book, some men said it was when they got a license to drive, cast their first vote, or had sex for the first time. Other men said, "when I went into the service," "when I had a child," or "when I got a gun (gang member)." There were a few men who experienced rites of passage in their religious community, in scouting or in a gang. But by far the most common response to that question was, "I'm not sure I am a "man" today!" Most men said they had never definitively crossed a clear or obvious line into manhood and remained uncertain men today.

When I say "uncertain men," I mean these guys were fully functional males in the world today, but they were confused about what attributes define a mature and fully realized man in their society. They were uncertain about the criteria for becoming a man, the achievement path to that goal, if there is one, and not at all clear about how or who will ultimately bestow the blessing of one day having become "a real man."
. . . what attributes define a mature and fully realized man . . .
If uncertainty is a theme for men, consider how hard/impossible it is for adolescent males, without good men around them, to ever feel they been set on a positive path toward a solid manhood. They are being propelled toward manhood by testosterone, a hormone drives them to action, intensity, sexual expression, and the need to constantly test and prove themselves in some way. Without guidance, these natural expressions of young male energy, combined with an underdeveloped capacity for thinking through the consequences of their choices, all too often have terribly tragic consequences. It's why I say we don't so much have a violence problem in our communities, but an epidemic of under-male-nourished boys.

Ancient rites of passage, perfected over thousands of years, were exquisitely designed to get the attention of young males and help them shape their mature masculine identity. Sadly, positive passage experiences for males are hard to come by today, and too many males are left to wander in that never-never land between boyhood and manhood.

Because I believe in intentional man-making, I feel it's critical to acknowledge a young male's passage from the world of boyish things into young adulthood. One of the ways I do that is to work with groups of men who are initiating adolescent males in rite of passage experiences. This work clearly sets boys on a positive journey toward manhood, and lets them know they are supported by men. The second reason for these events is to offer an experience in which men can discover they are indeed hardwired for this work. By initiating young males, men can find answers to some of their lingering questions about what constitutes "a real man." I'll continue to write about this in future posts.

From my research and experiences, I've learned that male rite of passage events, wherever they occur, have some common and important elements. Remember, this template has emerged from thousands of years of man-making experience from cultures across the globe. VERY simply and generally stated, here is a short list:
  • A dramatic departure from the women, children, and elders.

  • Travel to an unknown (to the initiates) place in a natural setting.

  • Arrival in a special men-only location.

  • Learning to be accountable to and take direction from the men.

  • Deprivation, trials, and testing.

  • Acquiring knowledge and masculine skills.

  • Serious talk from adult men and respected elders about the responsibilities that define a man.

  • Rituals in many aspects of the experience.

  • Fires, drumming, and often some expression of wildman energy.

  • Being given a new name, bodily markings, clothing, talismans, or tools for the men's world.

  • Experiencing a moment in time when you have become, are acknowledged and honored by the men and elders as, a new man.

  • With ceremony, ritual, and often feasting, returning to your community and being again celebrated for your new identity.
Just below is a video giving us a look at a day out of a month-long male rite of passage experience from the Palambi Tribe in Papau New Guinea. This not-so-ancient event was filmed in 2007. Read through the list above once more, and then see if you can find those elements in this Palambi passage experience.



If the clip doesn't show up, use this link.

Clearly this example doesn't fit the world most of us inhabit. But it was most likely built on a few hundred years experience with man-making. In 2007, after their month of training and preparation, on returning to their village, these initiates will have no question they have crossed a line into manhood, and that's quite the gift.

If you want to learn how to create a culturally relevant and contemporary rite of passage experience for the boys in your world, give me a shout. I'm happy to be a guide to help create the experience. Along the way, I'll help you and your men friends discover you really are hardwired for this work.

(Check out more questions for men about manhood on the Man-Making website.)



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