The Man-Making Blog is a practical and inspirational resource
for people interested in supporting our young males
on their journey to manhood.

December 27, 2015

Year-End Man-Making Blog Survey

So now it's your turn to give back. Once a year I ask for a little guidance, feedback, input, or observations from you. So the annual Man-Making Blog survey is at the end of this post, just below. Mostly, I want to know how to make it better. I want to learn how I can do a better job of getting men like you interested in the important work of being a man-maker.

The survey is only FIVE easy questions
and will take less than five minutes.

Anything you're willing to offer by way of comments or suggestions will be very much appreciated.

IDEA SHARING: I feel the challenge of getting good men to show up for young males is too big and too important for me to be the only voice being heard. There are over a thousand of you out there who have subscribed to the blog, and lots of other viewers. I know from your emails there is a mountain of passion and lots of experience in the ranks of my readers. We really do need to be sharing ideas. On the survey you can let me know if you're interested in idea sharing and which topics would get your attention.

THANKS: Thanks so much for your support and thank you in advance for your feedback. But mostly, thanks for your interest in Man-Making and in supporting young males on their journey toward a positive and successful manhood.

HERE'S THE SURVEY. 
You can enter your responses by clicking in the area just under each question.

DON'T FORGET TO HIT THE "SUBMIT" BUTTON AT THE END!


NOTE: If you’re an email subscriber, the survey may not show up in the message below. If this is the case, simply use this link to go directly to the online survey form.





SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and not in subscription posts delivered by email.)


CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

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December 16, 2015

Gifts for Men in Working with Boys


This is the time of year when the idea of gifts, in my opinion, gets overly commercialized and a little out of control. That said, there are lots of different kinds of gifts. I'm partial to the experiential gifts, the ones that engage you and maybe even change you in some way. Those are the kinds of gifts men get when they get connected to young guys.

The subtitle of my Man-Making book reads, "Men Helping Boys on Their Journey to Manhood." The initial, and obvious assumption, is always that it's men helping BOYS on their journey to manhood. That is true, and it's what the book is largely about. However, the subtitle could also read, "Men Helping Boys on THE MEN'S Journey to Manhood." The secret of the Man-Making book, and in man making work, is men who show up for young guys are always made much better men in the process. Now that's quite a gift.

. . . men who show up for young guys are always
made much better men in the process.


In the trainings we do to prepare men for working with young guys, one of many things we do is to create a safe place where they can go back into their history to remember some of the joys, confusion, and the pain of their adolescence. Some of what's shared is really fun. In addition, there are usually some difficult memories from that time in their lives. The gifts for men in this training are having the time, safety, support, and the intimacy with other men to talk about it all. Revisiting the old feelings, challenges, and the bruises one took as a teen is healing for the male soul. It's also the perfect preparation for sitting across a room or circle from a hurting young guy.

Then there's the reality of sitting in weekly groups with boys and young men. Once the young guys really trust you, the masks of teen male bravado slowly come off and real truth is spoken. Regularly witnessing young boy vulnerability, pain, courage, laughter, confusion, foolishness, naiveté, and raw truth, is a force that works on all the males in the circle. It bonds them together on the quest to be better than they were. This is true for all the males in the circle regardless of age. It's this water-on-stone, regular application of boy truth that softens a man's heart and give him the gifts of increased vulnerability, compassion, and caring.

It's this water-on-stone,
regular application of boy truth
that softens a man's heart. . .

In addition to all the gifts described above, in the Man-Making book there is a short list of other gifts for men in this work. They come in two varieties. First, there are the gifts of letting go of what's working against you being the best man you can be. Then there are all the gifts that naturally come from ongoing involvement with boys. Here is a short list of both:

The first set of gifts might be described as what men are relieved from experiencing. Men who work with young men typically feel less:
  • shame of ignored responsibility.
  • isolation across the generations.
  • confusion about the job description for being a "man."
  • detachment from the life of his community.
  • lost on his journey to manhood.
The second set of gifts is about what men get. Men get:
  • to see boys grow and become better young men.
  • reconnect with youthful (teen) energy and spirit.
  • to fill in some of their own boyhood “blanks” by supporting boys.
  • to develop an increased trust in “masculinity” and other men.
  • a connection to a positive male tribe.
  • the satisfactions of directly giving back to their community.

All these gifts are just the beginning, there's many more. Sadly, this is just a two-dimensional description of experiential gifts that are much bigger, deeper, and wonderful. There is just no substitute for the real thing.

My wish for you is that you come get the gifts in man-making that are waiting for you. If you're at all interested, send me a message and let's talk about what might be possible. I can promise you it won't be hard, you ARE the man for this work, and the young men are waiting for you to show up.

Also, I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization. If you'd like to start a Man-Making initiative, large or small, I'd be happy to help.



SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and not in subscription posts delivered by email.)


CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!