The Man-Making Blog is a practical and inspirational resource
for people interested in supporting our young males
on their journey to manhood.

June 21, 2015

The Truth about Our Teen Boys

With the current news full of the story of yet another young man gone tragically wrong, it’s the perfect time for me to bring you a story about some really great young men. The guys that star in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl are good examples of what I've found to be true and deeply good about the teenage guys I've met, and I've met a lot of them. I think it's time we all hear more about what's right about our young men and less about the few lost and angry guys who get so much media attention.

At the start of the movie, we meet Greg (played by Thomas Mann), a high school senior, shy, and full of the pretty standard young male insecurities. He manages to stay socially hidden in background at high school as a way of coping with the complicated worlds of relationships. He subtly moves between all the cliques, like the jocks, stoners, goths, and theatre geeks, being a dabbler but not a member of any. Mostly, he remains a loner. Mostly.

Greg does have one main dude in his life named Earl (R.J. Cyler) who he’s known since childhood. Earl is from the (stereotypical) other side of town and is really Greg’s only true friend. Sadly, Greg is so afraid of what it means to have a real friend, he refers to Earl as his “co-worker.” In addition to their history, the two pals share a common interest in odd European art films. They work together making terrible but really funny amateur movies.


Friendships are a complicated business for young guys Greg and Earl's age. Sitting with teen males in groups, I’ve heard many of them talk about having what’s up friends. Those are the guys they hang out with between classes, at lunch, and sometimes after school. However, few of them say they have any got-your-back-no-matter-what, real friends.

. . . few of them say they have any
got-your-back-no-matter-what, real friends.


The movie really gets started when Greg’s mom (Connie Britton) insists that he check in on Rachel (Olivia Cooke), a distant acquaintance from school who has been diagnosed with leukemia. As his relationship with Rachel develops, a true friendship is born, and Greg begins to truly, but cautiously, care for her. You'll be able to pinpoint the moment in the film when Greg’s heart cracks open and he’s overwhelmed with the flood of feelings he has for Rachel he's been holding back.

As I've witnessed many times, when the I'm Okay Mask comes off, so many young men have amazing capacity to face the very hard parts of their lives, speak deep truths, and express big feelings. You’ll see a lot of that in this film. I’m here to tell you it’s not Hollywood, but a really honest depiction of what's alive behind teen male bravado.

There are tons of great laughs and sub-characters. Greg’s strange, sociology professor father (Nick Offerman), is a riot in weird clothing, odd behavior, and a love for exotic foods. In a non-funny way, it speaks to how so many young guys feel they come from embarrassing or sometimes shameful family situations.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl won the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival, so it has great credentials. But for me, so much of what I saw was just flat out true about my own adolescence, and true about the good young men who sit across from me in school circles.

This film is both very funny and sad at the same time, but the laughs outweigh the tears. The film is worth seeing if you want to touch the angst of your own teen history, increase your young male-literacy, and have your heart lightly squeezed.

Here’s a little taste:


If this clip doesn't show up use this link.



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June 8, 2015

A Man's World Adventure for You!

For years I've been a big fan of the annual YMAW or Young Man's Adventure Weekend held outside of Vancouver, British Columbia. It's a true rite of passage adventure in the world of men, mixing just the right amounts of pristine Canadian wilderness, challenges, playfulness, good food, male hierarchy, laughter, tears, and a large and multi-generational male tribe.

A YMAW is 50-60 men taking the emerging manhood of 40-50 young male lives very seriously. The men surrounding these young guys are bonded and transformed by the activities and spending time with other men in this important work.

. . . the YMAW community of men
want you to come join them!

The really good news is the YMAW community of men want you to come join them! This year there will be two YMAW's. The first weekend is held outside of Vancouver, from July 10th through the 12th. The second YMAW is outside of Edmonton, from August 7th through the 9th. At every YMAW they make room for volunteer staff men, called outlanders, who come from far and wide for the experience. If you go, the YMAW men will connect with you in advance, assign you a weekend buddy, include you in pre-event phone conversations, and take care of you from arrival to departure. I've been there, experienced that treatment, and loved every minute. It's been going on for over 25 years so these men know what they are doing.

They also invite and encourage you to bring any young men you know aged 12-17. If you know a young guy who is ready for this kind of passage experience, going as a pair couldn't be a better bonding experience to share. Your young friend or relative will have his own experience to be sure, but I can guarantee the trip home will be full of rich conversation about male lives changed forever.

To get a sense for how these weekends work, look through the photos from the 2014 YMAW or check out the video clip below from the year when the YMAW theme for the weekend invited the young men to see themselves as explorers and voyageurs.


If the clip doesn't show up use this link.

If you are interested in men changing the lives of young males, and you've been wondering what to do for a unique summer experience, the YMAW should be on your list. For more information on attending, or just to talk with the YMAW guys about this kind of man-making work, call Dorian leslie, the event coordinator at 604 688 9997, or talk to any of the men listed on this page of the YMAW website. I know they be happy to hear from you.



SHARE: If you enjoy this blog, please click the Facebook "Share" button below to support the Man-Making Facebook page! (The button is only on the MM Blog, and not in subscription posts delivered by email.)

CONTACT: Send Earl a message. I'm very interested in your thoughts on any man-making post or topic. I'm available to help bring man-making initiatives to your community or organization.

SUBSCRIBE: If you're not yet a subscriber to the Man-Making Blog, and you'd like to receive these posts by email 3-4 times a month, use this link for a free subscription.

TWEET: Send this post along to your friends or follow me on Twitter!