A Young Man's Rite of Passage in the Bush

Locking away his cell phone in a wooden box was the first challenge 17-year-old PJ had to face on his 5-day Rites of Passage (ROP) experience. He and his father got to the wilderness camp after a 10-hour drive from Canberra, the capital city of Australia. Like so many of these encounters, the wild and remote bush setting added to the power and gravity of the passage event.

From my experience, once a Rites of Passage event is launched, all the males present, but especially the young guys, naturally drop into the seriousness of the occasion. Everyone gets that something important is happening and they soon find their right place in the ancient drama. It was no different for the thirty other fathers and sons (or male mentors - uncles, stepdads, or family friends of a young man), who attended the camp with PJ and Peter. The group was made up of guys who came from across Australia to be present to honor a group of young males transitioning into manhood.

Clearly you can’t make men out of boys in five days.

Clearly you can’t make men out of boys in five days. What you can do is: 

• Let them know that you see and welcome their emerging manhood. 
• You can encourage the young men to take the changes going on in them seriously and invite them to consider some of the responsibilities waiting for them. 
• You can challenge the young guys with activities which contain "think about it" lessons about becoming a man. 
• You and the other men can share stories about your adolescent years, and what you've learned along the way. 
• Finally, you and the other men can witness and honor the gifts and talents you see in the young males.

For young men, being witnessed in those ways, by thirty or so adult men, is a compelling and transformational experience. It is also powerful and transformational for the adult men witnessing the young males.

You can read more about PJ and Peter's Rites of Passage camp experience in a recent Canberra City News article. The article discusses some of the camp activities, the kinds of topics covered in conversations, and the role of rituals in the process. If you want to learn more about Peter's experience you can email him at peter.lennon@mhf.org.au You can also visit the Reconxted Facebook page to learn more about this group's approach to Rites of Passage.

On the Man-Making Blog you can read more about various kinds of Rites of Passage experiences diverse groups have taken to support their adolescent boys during this important transition time. Note: These examples are taken from twenty years of posts and not all links and videos are still available.

If you're inspired to do something similar, even if it's on a much smaller scale, feel free to contact me. 

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A Revealing Book on Becoming a Man

"It was time. 

It was time to become a man, my father said."

Bill Amatneek, an experienced author and editor, has given the world a beautiful gift. His book, Heart of a Man: Men’s Stories for Women, gives all of us an intimate look under the hood of man’s world.

The subtitle of the book, Men’s Stories for Women, suggests it’s about women finally getting to see men as their vulnerable and most emotionally honest selves, a glimpse they often don’t get. The book delivers on that promise, but it’s also very much a book for men.

In a soft chronological order, thirty-nine writers reach deep into their male souls, and share true and intimate stories about many of the developmental experiences of a man’s life.

“We’ll see if you’re a man today, Donnie.”

Early on we hear the story of a six-year-old boy being prematurely forced by his father to “become a man” by killing baby squirrels with his first use of a shotgun. From there the stories take us past many of the challenging experiences in a man's life such as the discovery of girls and first love in adolescence, encountering competitive sports and teams, creating brotherhood and connections to men friends, love and marriage, parenting, and even a man’s experience of war. If you’re looking for a guidebook on manhood, Heart of a Man is a good place to start.

In a way, the book is about all men and their quest for that illusive collection of knowledge, experiences, and feelings that define fully realized manhood. Amatneek says he hopes his book will, “bring men and women closer.” I hope it does, but just as worthy a goal is that all male readers will find themselves somewhere in the book’s stories. Like sitting in a good men’s support group, reading Heart of a Man will help men to feel less alone with the joys and pain of their journey toward manhood.

You can read many stories on the book’s website (highly recommended). While there, you can also order the book, send the author a note, or even share a piece of your life story for future editions.

Heart of a Man: Men’s Stories for Women 

Edited by Bill Amatneek and published by Vineyards Press in 2021 

heartofaman.net 

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A Powerful Call to Men to be MEN!

Denis Waitley

This video is the most beautiful call to man-making I've heard in a long time. It's by Chaim Dunbar. He is the founder and CEO of We Be ONE, ". . . a multicultural unity movement. Unified with the awareness and understanding that we are all individual parts of one human family."

If Chaim's video doesn't
touch your masculine soul,
you may not have one.

I'll let Chaim speak for himself in the video below.

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If this clip doesn't show up use this link.

Onward my brothers, the world is waiting!

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